This message board makes a very real difference in peoples lives. Thank you all for being here.
SB no sweat i didnt mind trying on the offchance youd be there. Workweek is going to be busy but maybe we cd meet for lunch tues or wed?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I lured S14 out of his friend's house with bacon and drove him home to get ready for school. On the way I told him I cry a lot sometimes, that's nothing new, just something I do and we can talk through it I don't mind.
I thanked him for texting me bc that seemed like a good way for us to talk about stuff.
He asked again what happened and I told him I just didn't have all the answers and I was feeling pretty angry and sad. Angry at dad, angry at the situation, and angry at myself, and some things I might think are the answers might be my feelings talking instead. Over time I told him I hoped we'd all understand more.
I told him dad's been really unhappy, you could see that. Sleeping in bed all day isn't normal, yelling a lot isn't normal. I don't even know if s14 remembers the fun nice dad he used to be, and maybe if he gets some space he can get that back. It's just that staying together and being angry and yelling all the time wasn't the right thing to do.
S12 told me he would fall asleep in school and so I'm letting him stay home and sleep. S14 has orthodontics at lunchtime so I'm making him go to school until then.
H rode his bike in to work at o'dark hundred this morning so I haven't seen much of him.
This is definitely like the bomb all over again but worse because it's happening to my kiddos.
I'm going to try to get in to see IC today to see if I can get my head back on straight.
I'm totally off A/Ds since a few days ago and I've lost three pounds this week. Lots more to go but that much is encouraging.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Even though you do need to be the rock for your children, don't forget about yourself. You do need to feel the emotions of this, so that you can step out of the "victim" role of this being done to you.
While it isn't what you want or what you have worked towards, it has happened and you have to move forward from here.
And while the timing may have sucked, Crazyville's perspective, I found interesting. Not necessarily just to your sitch. Just a way to look at any similar situation from a completly different perspective. Personally, I can see what she was saying and how it relates, and I can see your more relaxed side and how it relates. I have to admit, depending on the situation, I have a little bit of both of your thinking. Try reading it as a generalization instead of as directed at you, when you are ready and see if you can see what I mean.
BTW, your initial reaction from her, while the intensity of your anger may possibly have been a little misplaced, was the type of stuff I was looking for. No censorship. Just raw emotion. Sometimes we have to let it out.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
Oh yeah I also told s14 that H was just not happy, but happiness doesn't come from other people, it comes from inside you. I said I was very sad about this but in general I was still happy in life because of who I am, and that's why I knew we would be ok.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Cat I saw your post and thank you. I don't have any kind of a response to it right now but didn't want you to think I didn't see it.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
