All previous meets have been her idea...I've been detaching.
I'm going to have to "ask her out" and for the 1st time in over 20 years there's the possibility she'll say "No"
Feel like a sweaty palm teenager.
Think I'll just say, "I've made reservations for us on Friday evening."
What do you think?
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
I wouldn't arrange a reservation in advance, that puts pressure on her. Try to detach as much as you can before asking her and be prepared for either outcome. Play it cool.
Pissed that I'm afraid to contact her to ask her out for anniversary.
Afraid of what she'll say.
Afraid of what I'll read into it if I don't like the answer.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
25 suggested very strongly I NOT ignore our anniversary.
I just talked to her. We are going Xmas shopping for kids Saturday, w/dinner after. She knows about dinner, not where. Will probabably do comedy club as suggested. Small gift and card after the show so it doesn't seem like the whole night is supposed to be celebration? Didn't mention anniversary. Is the elephant in the room?
We talked for 40 minutes, very friendly, cheerful, no R talk, which was a relief. She confirmed she met "friend1" (see prev posts) without me asking. Also reaffirmed she is going to C this Thursday, also w/out me asking. Her girlfriend is going, to "sit in the waiting room like a crazy person" and then take her to lunch.
She actually seemed happy to be talking to me. It was like I was just away on a business trip, not like we're separated.
Idle time is my worst enemy, when it comes to my emotions. Hence GAL I guess.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
I am posting because my thread isn't showing up on the list...only in My Stuff???
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
If you're going to be together shopping and then dining anyhow, you can get a card and small gift.
The card has to be about "things worth remembering" and maybe list a few, like the children you two brought into the world, a few great trips or funny nicknames or the way the kids get along, or talents they have, OR that SHE has, "and the list goes on" and thank her for making them with you.
Nothing about the future and "more memories" and NO expectations...
but respect for what you two achieved when things were good AND the times that were hard but that you still got through. IF she seems upset, you can apologize for hurting her and IF YOU FEEL that she needs to hear some reassurances from you (which is what my gut says she needs b/c she gave you a road map)
then give her some. Something she can believe WILL be different and better for you two. Something concrete.
Don't wait for her to reciprocate...move along on the new topic or DO something...FUN...without any expectations.
you're reminding her that you are fun man to be around and that NOT all the good times you had, must end.
make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Yes, 25, "I'm trying" has been her mantra. I haven't come back with "what exactly are you trying to do" in weeks.
Got off work early so got her small gifts: nice gloves, and a scarf. Also, since her LL is Service, I am going to get her GOOD winter coat to her, probably Saturday, but we may see each other before. Shel left during warmer weather and every time I see her she is in this cheapo jacket she picked up. It's actually very warm here right now I'm hoping for colder weather when I give it to her.
For my self I bought a bottle of the 1st cologne she ever got me to wear on Saturday.
Speaking of acts of service, neither of us are shoppers, so Xmas shopping together is a 2 way act of service.
We have laughed together much recent days, not AS much, but always easy to get her to have fun...
She even wants to participate in shopping for extended family...we both have large amounts of nieces/nephews so do name drawings on thanksgiving.
The no expectations part will be the hardest. Will pick a card tonight, and post a draft note for your review ASAP!
Me 46 W 43 S 21 D 18 S 17 M 22 yrs Discovered OM 9/10/12 W moved to sister's 9/15/12 W moved to OM 9/27/12 Tried to DB until 7/13 W filed 10/7/13. Did not serve. I counter filed 12/2/13.
