Sort of like when I found out about her then current meds completely changing the patients personality, turning off the empathy chip, the lawsuit, etc...I know we are both natural med oriented, and she hated spending the $$ for the meds, so I dropped the seed and the forum link (not here, this forum, elsewhere) regarding this issue and away she went...Next visit to her ob/gyn, she asked about the med, ob/gyn said she would never prescribe that and started her on a nice tame wellbuterin course, which seemed to lead to her re-connecting with the kids and family again. She has since gotten up her courage to drop that as well, she is determined to kick this depression's a$$ without any chemical help...she has accepted that the work is within, and the meds were just covering up the symptoms (in the case of the first med, which coincided with both rounds of replay) and in the second, taking the edge off long enough for her to gather herself up.
T^2
Hi T2, can you give us an update as to how things are going? Is your wife still off the meds? Has her depression been clearing up? And of course, how's the "work within" coming along?
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
She is still off the meds and working through the depression, it varies in intensity but she seems to be gaining ground. As is the work within.
Given the time of year with her historic SAD, holiday issues, etc, she is doing pretty good, almost getting to pre-mlc level. Since these have been long term things with her, I expect them this time of year....the difference is that I don't try to fix and get frustrated/angry with lack of success anymore (yea me!). I am there to support her, checking in if she doesn't approach me first, but leaving it up to her to figure out. Last year was a complete horror with the crazy angry spew and cheating replay, so I am not complaining at all. I will take the relative calmness of depression/withdrawal stages cycle...lol.
As I wrote in your thread, there is a slowly growing reconnection and interest in me and what I am doing, etc...slow, slow, but there. Small things such as saying good night again, calling when I wasn't home as soon as expected, more pleasant greetings when I come home, noticing my experiment in rogue-ish facial hair, etc.
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
of course, all that could change tomorrow. Don't know what or when the outcome will be, but I am pretty damn busy with work, GAL and home stuff to not have much space left to dedicate to worrying about it....
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
You know I applaud you on "my experiment in rogue-ish facial hair, etc."
Love it!!!
Keep up the good work in patience. You have grown so much!! I'm glad to hear though things aren't perfect it's a helluva lot better than last year!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
I was thinking of you when I phrased it that way. Since one of my favorite bands, Soundgarden, just released a new album after so many years, I got the idea watching Chris Cornell on the Letterman gig they did, and I resemble him with lighter hair (and he is my age), so I said what the heck, its winter and all...Usually i don't get past the new beard itchy phase though...we'll see.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
Thinking back on last year, here's a song that got heavy rotation in my house, there's a great acoustic version as well on Cornell's Songbook album. There's a lot in these lyrics that resonated with me and my life.
Quote:
"Call Me A Dog" (originally by Temple Of The Dog)
You call me a dog well that's fair enough cause it ain't no use to pretend You're wrong When you call me out I cant hide anymore I have no disguise you cant see through
Well you say its bad luck To have fallen for me Well what can I say to make it good for you You wore me out like an old winter coat Trying to be safe from the cold
But when its my time to throw The next stone I'll call you beautiful, if I call at all
You tell me I'm low cause Ive slept on the floor And out in the woods with the badgers & wolves You threw me out cause I went digging for gold And I came home with a handful of coal
But when it's my time to throw the next stone Ill call you beautiful, if I call at all And when its my time to call your bluff I'll call you beautiful, or leave it alone
You call me a dog Well that's fair enough It doesn't bother me as long as you know Bad luck will follow you If you keep me on a leash and You drag me along
I'm glad things are different now. Hope everyone makes a great weekend for themselves!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
