Since your s has already made a commitment, he should stick to it. Besides, he'll be making a little bit of money and being responsible/accountable by doing it.
I would let son work it out w/his father. I hope your son will stick to the commitment he made.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snodderly, S13 talked to H about it and he promised to have him home on time to help the neighbor......so we'll see.
This will be our first thanksgiving not being a family. SIL called me this morning and she is so ticked off with H she said he's such a far cry from the man he was. She is a nurse and she has a 6 yr old with a drug addict who she was with for 9 years but after her son was born she changed instantly and realised that she couldn't save him or change him, because of what shes saw and lived withshe believes H is on drugs, because of the way he's acting and behaving and he's lost 50lbs without exercising or dieting. It is so hard to imagine him on drugs as hes never tried an illegal drug in his life. Sorry all just thinking outloud, thanks for listening
M 41 H 43 M 22 S 18 S 14 D 11 Affair discovered 1/12 He filed 2/12 OW#2 7/12 she lives next door. D pending
It's possible that he's on drugs, but I seriously doubt it. The mlc is quite the monster and they do tend to lose weight during the early stages. It's the stressors in his life, as well as what he is currently eating. Life for a grown man who is trying to burn the candle at both ends isn't easy.
Please don't be to quick to "assume" he's on drugs. My xh went through this and I had to trains of thought: 1) drugs or 2) a brain tumor. He had neither...just mlc. It took him about 12-24 months of replay before he started to put the weight back on and he's been gaining ever since. They swing back and forth and their hormones are out of whack as well.
I do hope he has your son home in time to help the neighbor. I'm sure your son will remind him about his commitment.
Try to have a nice Thanksgiving. It might be time to consider some new traditions to help you and your family through holidays.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H did get S13 back on time to help neighbor, he dropped them off in the driveway and took off.
For thanksgiving the kids aand I went to H cousins for dinner and his 94 yr old great aunt was there whom H has always adored, everyone was taking bets whether he'd come in and say hi...I won $10 because he didn't LOL He just called D9 on her phone and said come out.
D9 will be 10 on tuesday and I dont know whats going to happen, is he coming over? will he have a gift? Is he planning to take her out? (I hope not) These are the important days that are now filled with stress.
Thanks for listening.
M 41 H 43 M 22 S 18 S 14 D 11 Affair discovered 1/12 He filed 2/12 OW#2 7/12 she lives next door. D pending
Glad to hear that your son was able to honor his commitment to help the neighbor.
I'm not surprised that he didn't come in and visit w/his aunt. They really do screw themselves up and miss out on so much. Such a pity.
Plan something nice for your daughter's birthday and try not to worry about what your h is going to do. Don't allow his behavior to control how you feel about the important days. It's very important that you be there to enjoy them w/your children.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My Thanksgiving was nice. I spent it w/my family. Thanks for asking...I hope your week is a pleasant one.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
D9 turned the big 10 yesterday, she had a great time...I invited her BFF over for cake and icecream (shes not seen her for awhile) so she was very excited, also a couple of friends of H and I came over too then H came over and he was soooooooo uncomfortable and couldn't wait to get out of here. Later my friend said to me "he looks like he's aged 10 years in 6 months and I cant believe he's giving all this up for her...he's lost his mind" she also knows the OW and how horrible a human being she is.
So last night I got a text from an old friend of H and I...a little history of ours... H was in the U.S Navy stationed in the U.K when we met, I was 18 he was 20, within 3 months of dating we moved in together, a guy he was in the Navy with also lived with us...we became instant friends staying up late playing scrabble, talking etc... nothing ever happened sexually or otherwise besides being friends. I remeber distancing abit from our friend because I could tell H was uncomfortable with it or abit jealous. Anyway our friend came back to the states in June 1991 and H and I got married the following month.
Our friend lives in another state about 8 hours drive from us but we'd talk on the phone maybe a few times a year, but 9 times out of 10 it was me he called not H and H sarcasticly commented on this over the years. Our friend travels quite a bit so whenever he's in town the 3 of us get together, we last saw him in January right after I had found out about OW#1 Afew weeks later I told our friend what was going on, since then he calls now and then to see how I am etc.
So he texts last night, light convo ...how are you? how are the kids and on and on, then he gets serious and says he could nevr tell me how he felt before because of h but he never said what he felt, he wants to drive 8 hours to come "hang out" with me for the weekend says he just wants to spoil me for awhile he even said that he could very easily be talked into ML to me...I was speechless and I admit blushing I told him that I was still married and if I did that I'd be guilty of the very thing I'm accusing H of! I will not lie it was an ego boost for sure as he is good looking guy, but in my mind he was just my friend.
Thoughts are needed, thanks
M 41 H 43 M 22 S 18 S 14 D 11 Affair discovered 1/12 He filed 2/12 OW#2 7/12 she lives next door. D pending
Happy belated birthday to your daughter. I'm sure she had a wonderful time.
As for your friend wanting to come visit...I'd be very careful about that. You are absolutely correct in saying that if you got in a situation w/him you'd be doing the exact same thing that your h is doing. You don't want to go down that road unless you are divorced and absolutely certain you are finished w/your h.
My thoughts are to remain friends, but I would not have him come to visit and hang out unless you did it in a group setting. Even though he's a friend, he's already thinking ahead and circling for a booty call. Think w/your head, not your heart when it comes to this situation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks snodderly, I will not have him come visit. Is it weird that the thought of being "involved" with another man grosses me out? It's flattering, yes, but the thought of having sex with someone else makes my skin crawl! Will I always feel this way? I'm scared that I'll never be able to let go and move on and want another relationship.
M 41 H 43 M 22 S 18 S 14 D 11 Affair discovered 1/12 He filed 2/12 OW#2 7/12 she lives next door. D pending
