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Love that you're being so graceful, and an inspiration.
I was pondering some of these same things the other night / today.
I am thankful you has the courage to post it

I don't have much to say but that I read your update on your interaction with W. That must've been difficult. It's like you want to reach out but you're afraid you'll get burned in the process. Or at least that's how it seems to me.

I end up reaching out. Then I get burned. Then I beat myself up for not thinking twice when I reached out. I don't know. Guess we are all a work in progress...

I am just checking myself and realizing that at times I am subtly sending messages to control how W thinks about me, our sitch, her actions, etc..

This is very interesting NG. Gives me a lot to think about it.

Thank you for ALWAYS giving us the encouragement and hard questions we need to become the people we truly want to be.

(((( ))))

i think the very nature of our situations gives game-playing a foothold. since we can't really communicate honestly, and they won't, either, we are always tentative, wondering how what we do, or say, will play out.

i think that's why it's better to have less communications until we find ourselves and are happy with who we are and where we are. then we won't analize everything that we say and they say and how what we say and do will accomplish something.

we'll just be.

nice one SS. makes a lot of sense

Oh i can not wait for that point SS! Great post.

Priceless post, SS. i love this. i am going to read your sitch again today bc somehow you made that shift.. and i want to too.. thanks for all your encouragement dear friend.. you are amazing! (((((((( ))))))))

So true...Gives me much to think about as well...the texting continuously to him is a more look at me than info. I am going to think about this post NG every time I communicate

Thanks.

Grace, thanks for the kind words but I'm floundering, too. My H seems to want to R but I'm so full of doubts about it being successful. I've come to expect more for myself than I have during our marriage.

Time and space has given me the gift that Cadet promises when we first come on the boards.

Now...what do I do with it? I'm as confused as anyone on here. It's so much easier to help than to handle.

You're making great progress, I think, with reaching a state of contentment.

NG I love your latest posts. Taking a good look, an objective look at our communication dynamics and most importantly, our motivations is key. Your level of self-awareness and desire to improve is always there and that's admirable.

Yes, you find moments of struggle and self-doubt like everyone else here, but I do feel like you have really come to a good place in your journey.

Thanks for the inspiration and keep up the good work!

((((NG)))))