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I took her for granted as well. That is why I am kicking myself. I literally tried to change for years, and it took her filing for D for the changes that she wanted to take place. It is one of my many regrets.

I am going to read through your thread so I have your story before I try to offer any advice. I thank you for stopping by my thread. I appreciate all advice and views

I haven't answered any text this morning from him. He isn't happy about it and has started again on the " I must be with my bf" train of thought. I am thing not to answer back to defend myself. I did send him 1 text that a poster had suggested that said I wasn't seeing anyone right now and that we needed to stick with issues concerning the kids or our finances. I feel good about it even though he wasn't to happy with it and said that I was lying. I can't control how he feels so I am taking charge of my life.

Thanks to all those who read and post

I just got a text message from our cell phone provider about the payment not being made and service will be interrupted. He has this all in his name and locked up right with a password to even be able to discuss it with the company. He did this so I couldn't see his calls and texts to ow. This is the only bill he has been paying and that was so he could talk to her. All of our kids and my phone is on this plan. I text him that I had been contacted by Verizon and he text back that e paid it last week. But he would call and check on it. I don't like him being in charge of this so I am thinking of getting my own account started and getting the kids and I new phones. I think I made a mistake bc I text him that I didn't want h controlling out cell phones meaning the kids and mine and that I was going to open my own account. He replied to me that I should just add myself and the kids to my bf account. I don't know why he is on this kick. I ignored that and just received a text back that wasn't very nice. It just said " F you Lisa all you want to do is mess up everything and make everyone's life miserable karma will get you *itch."

I know this shouldn't hurt but I don't understand what I did. I am now feeling hurt bc I have come so far since he left and worked hard to get bills caught up and everything switched into my name bc he was threatening to turn off power and water

How do I handle this?

Definitely consider your own account. :-) Point of fact, he doesn't need to see who you are talking to. lol

Sorry for posting alot but I want to text my h so bad about an issue that came up with the kids. Not a huge deal but it has made me want to also text the ow. My kids mentioned something tonight that was out of line with them. And I need to let it go. But I am just freaking.

Don't, re read what he texted you earlier.

Do you have an attorney?

A few days ago I stood up for myself and told my h that I was expecting him to respect me and to give me a days notice on visits and to show up on those days. He told me that I didn't control when he saw his kids that he did. I don't argue. He responded with a text that he is seeing that I am trying to be firm bc I have a new bf. not true. He text me lots of threats and name calling. I ignored it all last night. This morning he kept on with his ranting I was on the phone with a cousin and he called 3 times and sent 7 messages while I was on phone. When I got off phone. I read the last text that said I had one more chance to tell him.

I I asked what he was talking about but he said too late. He called in sick and took his ow to a lawyer and filed for our divorce. Then he text me that he filed and that will teach me to ignore him and he hopes it works out with my bf. who is nonexistent.

I am kinda sad bc he did it out of spite and his assumption that I am seeing someone. But part of me is relieved. That finally the process is started.

Any support or advice.

I just read your story I'm so sorry LisaLost..I'm a new DBer myself and I don't know what to say but you have my support!!

This isn't the first time I've read about a cheater who tries to lay all the blame on their innocent spouse. The only thing I can assume is that because THEY are a liar and a cheater, they just assume their spouse must be too. The really strange thing is that often they become wildly jealous of an OP that doesn't even exist. It's like their brain is short-circuiting or something. That's really what it sounds like, he's extremely jealous and he's taking it out on you.

Anyway, I think you did well to just ignore the messages. You were in a no-win situation, if you reply and deny it then he accuses you of lying, if you say nothing he accuses you of verifying your guilt through silence. I suspect that now that he's filed he wants you to beg and plead with him to stop, because don't forget this is ALL ABOUT HIM. Now you've got to decide if you are still interested in reconciling or not. If you are, I would just ignore the filing unless you're painted into a corner and have to respond.