Good start Rick. Keep it going. My daughter turned 13 the week her dad left. They would go out for dinner, to a movie, sometimes shopping. Keep it interesting for her - teens don't always find time for their parents at the best of times.
My teenagers were focused on becoming their own person, both of them rebelled, the oldest rather vehemently and the younger one much more subtlety. The harder X and I tried to rein them in the harder they rebelled.
They didn’t want or need confining structure. They needed boundaries and to see themselves as contributing. They wanted a safe harbor. They needed a place relax. They wanted a place to belong.
They didn’t want us to be their friend. They wanted us to be their parent, a parent that recognized them as a person growing into an adult. Letting them find the sharp edges and standing by available if they acknowledged their need for assistance. I was not averse to pointing out the cliff edge and speculating about its fragility. Belaboring fragility got tuned out. Forbidding the cliff edge only made them approach it.
You have an opportunity to build a different relationship with your daughter than the one you had. Explore that opportunity. This part of my path has been rewarding.
Frank
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
I will keep your advice in mind guys. My D said she would also like to hang more often. That made me happy and whole.? Yeap feeling lonely latetly. Was sitting downstairs tonite watching tv waiting for anyone to come charging downstairs. But all I heard was silence. Last two weeks I was busy with the hurricane and its devastation no time to think about the sitch. Things are leveling off slowly. Just journaling
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Do you have a pet? I think they can really help during this time. I know my kitties really helped me.
We all get lonely at times but finding a hobby or other enjoyable pasttimes helps you learn to enjoy your time alone. It is not a bad thing to be alone.
LMAO La I just saw this. JS yes it counts those are some nice doggies. And I can't have a pet because I'm gone for long hrs and I don't care for cats. Maybe I need the new Black Ops II to keep me company.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
