So I let her know earlier today about the conflict / my unavailability for tomorrow. "no big deal."
Come home with the slightly queezy feeling. Put on my fake PMA face. Not feeling really down or anything. Just weirdness. W and I are nice and friendly. The dr. Took 3 vials of blood to run a variety of tests. Guesses at this point - Mono or maybe Thyroid. She's had that concern years ago, but tests came back negative.
So she's showing me Pinterest stuff and what not. I open a insurance bill, ouch. My labs are kind of costly, not to mention all of her recent medical bills and what not. She makes the comment, "We were healthier together. Kind of reminds me of a song...Better Together". One of "our" songs by Jack Johnson. Also, she asked if I had 5 bucks for Zumba. I did and we flirtatiously talked about what it would cost her. . She started it, I kept it PG-13, she made it at least R; and added in things she used to do "just b/c". Last interesting comment she made before she left was, "thought I heard my phone (checks it but nothing), it doesn't go off much anymore". So some more slight signs in my favor? Good thing I've been using exercise and weights as an outlet, I'm gonna need to weigh down that shield some more.
Sounds like things are going your way Afa. I'm happy for you, but make sure you keep that shield handy mate.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
A few final notes for this night Shortly after last posts here and for others, I went to the basement / gym, and had a good work out. Came back upstairs to lights off and W gone (up to her room). I fiddle around a little and then sit down to read Pema's Things Fall Apart. I finished it. The last chapter taught me 2 things: 1 - How to properly spell "queasy," more importantly 2 - that that feeling is a good one to become familiar with. To sit with uncertainty and to embrace it for not being right or wrong. To be okay with not naming the feeling. That it us what I had been feeling lately, so I'm good with that.
The other interesting thing is this. While on the last few pages I heard a little noise so u went to check it out, thinking it was S7 awake in the middle if the night. Nope is W coming downstairs. She came straight towards me and out hugged / held me. Totally unexpected and nice. We exchanged a few random words and before she went back upstairs, I kindly and softly said, "you know you confuse me a little right?". W's response, "Don't give up on me yet. I can say that right?". I told her, "You can ask that.". Then she went up and stopped at the top of the stairs and wished me "sweet dreams" back (i said it first). It was a touching moment. I feel genuinely warm inside. This was the woman I married and fell in live with. Tears in her eyes and all, simply beautiful. This is what I'm fighting for. So on that note, I'm going to sleep filled with happiness and I'm going to enjoy while it lasts. Also, a Happiness that I will share with each of you.
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Wow, Andrew! That's awesome! Keep up the great work, and keep being patient. I'm really happy for you.
PS. You made me laugh with the whole thing about spelling "queasy." As I writer, I caught on that right away when I read your message :-) The queasy feeling might return. Just let it be.
. She started it, I kept it PG-13, she made it at least R; and added in things she used to do "just b/c". Last interesting comment she made before she left was, "thought I heard my phone (checks it but nothing), it doesn't go off much anymore". 