Sorry to hear this sitch has taken this turn, but as always there is STILL hope and there are STILL people on here such as Sandy and A.S. who constantly remind me that kind people who are willing to help those in need are still our there...
(((())))
We will make it out of our sitches STRONGER if we choose to...
Me - 30 W - 28 M 4 t 6 ILYBINILWY #1 Jan - 2011 Band-aid Jan 11' ILYBINILWY #2 7/28/12
Thank you to all of you. Excellent advice as always. Ironic that you feel so alone while going through this. Yet you are all out there ready to help and I have never have seen or met any of you.
Sandi2 I like your picture of dropping the rope. I have no choice but to let the rope go and walk away strong. I will not let her pull me down. This is her choice to walk away from our family.
Yes I will be there when she breaks our boys hearts. Then I will be the strong father who picks them up to recover. Fun times ahead.
Good morning, Had a good night of sleep. W is gone on a weekend trip, so the kids and I are alone this weekend. Feels very peaceful be alone with the kids. Not worrying about W. I guess I wasn't detached like I thought.
Silly question, but how do find a good lawyer? What should I look for, and stay away from? What is a fair cost?
I have heard to many horror stories. If W stays friendly and works together do we still need a lawyer?
Not very positive attitude, need to get back to the DB plan and figure out my direction.
Silly question, but how do find a good lawyer? What should I look for, and stay away from? What is a fair cost?
I have heard to many horror stories. If W stays friendly and works together do we still need a lawyer?
It seems many offer free consultations. You may find this is all you need right now. Talk to a few before you choose. Another option is to google the D laws and procedures for your state. Better to know now how it all works and never need it. This is coming from a guy who knows little about d legalities... but knows that the lawyers do. Protect yourself and your kids.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
Both. But I think that means that you have to put yourself first financially and then think about your children's future, instead of giving the W whatever she wants. The lawyer will fight for what she wants....and this is not the time to try and win any brownie points by sacrificing the kids’ education or putting yourself into major debt in order to make her more comfortable.
That may sound kind of harsh, but you have to protect you and the kids now.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
So more questions that are rolling around in my head this morning. Since W is leaving and I think I need to change my game plan to LRT. I need to stand up for myself and not be afraid of doing something wrong to where I push W away because she is leaving. But I do not want to go to far and be a jerk or A$$hole where she will not want to come back..
How should I handle money? Should I completely cut her off? Should I offer to help her? She does not make enough with her new job to survive on her own yet. She is moving in with her parents for now.
What type of healthy boundaries should I set? Should I allow her to come home whenever, like for dinner on weeknights? What if she offers to help around house like cook, clean or shopping? Do I say we dont need your help to show her that I am strong? When I really do need help.
Basically I want to be strong but not in away that will close the door for future reconciling. I think I should try to be her best friend and help if she asks, but not offer help unless she asks. So not to appear as controlling or pleading. Also I do not want to do something where she will use it against me if we divorce. Trying to cover my butt when I am scared to death of future...
Very sad night. Never thought I would watch my wife pack her bags and walk out the door. Nor do I ever want watch my kids have their hearts ripped out and watch them cry, listening to their mother explain her reasoning to them..
