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I've lost an extereme amount of weight since the bomb in July. My Dr. put me on some meds and that has helped with my anxiety and my eating. I've also got Ensure in the cabinet for those times that I cannot eat. I bought new clothes and they are falling off of me. Has your dr. considered meds?

I was already on a med for fibromyalgia. Dr now has added antidepressant, Prilosec and something for nausea. I have to go back in three weeks. I may be going earlier, depending what the latest blood work shows.

I lost 20 pounds in a month and had many sleepless nights. How tall are you? If your BMI doesn't drop below 20 you are still ok. The best "medicine" is to GAL, to care for yourself, feel as good as you possibly can. All the best.

I think a lot of people go through this. I'm in the same boat.

My clothes look like they belong to someone else - my jeans would just drop to the floor if i didn't belt them right up.

I have noticed that I'm starting to gorge on chocs and biscuits now (at 14-month mark).

Is there anything you can come at, food-wise? If so, go for it.
I realise that this isn't a long-term solution, but try to treat yourself with an 'indulgence' if you can.

You need a lot of strength and stamina to get through this, so perhaps also try to think of yourself as an athlete in training. This might help you to eat something even when you don't feel like it.

My body has "forgotten" how to completely digest food. I have a stomachache several times a day. Some foods don't like the journey down the digestive track. I have had stabbing pains when I eat meat. I stick to a lot of carbs and liquids. I can do some fruits, just depends on timing.

Hi TJP,

I think you're right: it does sound as if you could be heading for an eating disorder. I get that sense both from the content of what you say but also from the way you talk about it. The kind of detail you go into reminds me of an old friend of mine who was anorexic/bulimic. I hope I'm wrong. Do you think that any bit of you might hope that your H would come running home if you became obviously unwell?

Keep coming to this forum. Putting the advice here into practice will give you the very best chance of getting through this.

Take care of yourself, TJP. I hope the ADs kick in soon and help you. It's great that you're seeking medical help and that you're here. It sounds too as if you have a lovely R with your daughters. I agree that you might benefit from being more open with people who will be supportive of you. I guess it can be hard to tell who will respond to the information in a sensitive and helpful way. Maybe start with widening the circle of who is in the know slowly and cautiously.

The A/Ds will help, but just understand it takes 3 to 6 weeks for them to really kick in and for your body to stabilize. The lack of appetite is something we all go through and is driven by depression. Once the A/Ds start working their magic you will find your appetite returning. You'll also be able to handle things better. Just hang in there, they take a while to start having an impact.

Also try to get out and exercise (walk, run, lift weights, etc.), this will help with your PMA and will also help restore your appetite.

Thanks for the support. I don't think I'm consciously trying to be sick. Plus, I know my husband wouldn't come running. I already took a trip to the ER, he didn't show up. I guess I do have to say in his defense, a friend that was with me called and told him I was going to be fine.

I don't know what H is thinking right now. I know he is living completely in a fantasy world. I'm home, with one daughter in high school and the other 2 hours away at college. We are living our life the way we have been, minus H. He is traveling with his job.

He is in Dubai right now, riding camels in the desert! Then he's going straight to Vegas for a car show. Next month it's Munich and then back to the scene of the crime, Sweden n December. He is not in reality at all. The company is paying his expenses. He used to hate traveling. Now he never stops. I think it's so he doesn't have to face any reality.

Luckily his paycheck still gets deposited into our joint account.

My older D had to email him yesterday about some financial stuff for college and apartment. She said he sounded "sad". She said he acts like he misses us. She and I had decided last week that were weren't going to communicate with him at all. Only business stuff, like her finances.

Younger D has been holding out. She has never told him how she feels. She decided this morning that she is on board with us. H sent her an email this morning wishing her luck at a competition she has today. He said he missed her and sent a picture of himself with a camel. He asked how she was.

I told her she can do whatever she wants. It's their relationship. She and I have been pretty much living by ourselves for the past 2 years. We are very close. We'll see what she decides to do. I will be fine whatever she decides.

AnotherStander...I have read some of your other posts. You are very kind and supportive. It's hard to believe you are where you are mentally after just a short time. I can admire your attitude about your situation.

Hi Wendylon,

I see you're from London. Nothing against London or you, but that's where my nightmare began. I still remember sitting outside Westminster Abby praying right after I found out about H affair. It's a beautiful city. I guess in some ways I did find some comfort there. I am excited about getting out of town this weekend. I am picking up OD from college and driving to watch YD in a huge competition. This is YD last year of high school. I haven't missed a minute of it. I really do feel bad that she doesn't have both parents at everything. I know she is really mad at her Dad for missing all the events. It's so sad. It's something that he can never redo with her. He will never get another chance and I honestly don't think she'll ever forgive him for not being here this school year.