I'm beginning to feel hopeless as my H spent many hours last night texting and talking on the telephone to the OW and my son was up screaming with nightmares. His new day care isn't working out as expected and his sister is always questioning where's daddy, why does he stay out so long. So I don't feel so good.
My life didn't turn out as expected. I feel humiliated and I can't stop thinking about how horrible this is. Why couldn't he just be faithful? Is that so hard? Don't feel like anything could lift my spirits right now. So I am contributing to affirm my H and OW opinion that I am a pathetic depressed psychotic loser. Right now my goal is just to get through the day. This feels like hell.
Please take some time for yourself. You don't deserve to be going thru this! I know how hard it is. For the last 7 months I haven't been able to work, eat or sleep. I had the perfect life or so I thought just some minor bumps in the road until this. I do believe that there is a plan for all of us, you must believe that. I have been doing alot of reading and audio tape listening and it all says to Let Go. By letting go and focusing on yourself things will happen. If he doesn't come back then let him go. I know that is hard. I haven't even heard from my H in 5 days. I'm not even sure where he is, but if I spent all my days thinking about that I would go crazy. I can't cry any more.The more you try and convince him the more he will pull away. Try just for a week listening to him and agreeing to what he says and don't say to much. This will work as hard as it is. Don't give up on yourself or him. I wish our H's were as committed as us but for some reason they are not right now. I am praying for you. Give your kids big hugs and cherish them and be glad that you and they are healthy! Please keep talking to me
I thought too that I had the perfect life. I am also a bit of a perfectionist, I guess I liked others to look up to me and my family. I even gave them advice. Now the worst has happened, no money, no prestigious career, a husband who doesn't want to be near me, the threat of losing my family. I have been humiliated and looking positive on that means I am more human. Two feet firmly on the ground, well nearly.
I'm going to take your advice and let go and detach a bit. I'm even planning a short trip, which I avoided going on before. At home I just agree, no complaining, no pressure and keep my mouth shut otherwise. Acting happy is going a bit slower as I'm finding it a bit hard. But I've haven't been acting sad, so thats a start.
I'll give my kids a hug from you. I'll pray for you too.
My H went out last night, said he needed to think, but I called him and he was on the telephone. Guess I need to stop worrying what he is doing and get my own life.
I'm sure your H will call. He'll be wondering what you are doing at least. Keep it up.
It seems like you and I are alot alike. Sometimes I wonder why I am sitting here while he's out having an affair. Sometimes I just feel so alone. No matter how many friends and family call and come by it seems no one really knows what I am feeling. I get angry sometimes because I just want to be loved. I want my H to have the same passion for me that he does for the OW. I want to have my H compliment me again and tell me I am beautiful. I think I took those things for granted. Now it is up to me to believe I am beautiful. If we don't learn from the sitution we are in we will be no better off. I am learning that I forgot about the passionate side of me. I got so wrapped up in my career and having babies and planning for the future I forgot about the now. So all I know for now is I need to be happy. What makes up happy. Sometimes I listen to a song in the car and I start to sing and I am happy. It's the little things and living in the present. Appreciating everything I do have. I hope you can do the same. I know some of this may sound weird but I don't know how else to look at it. My life is in turmoil and I can let it continue to bring me down or I can try and keep going. I hope you do go on your trip. Go and only call home to talk to the kids. Don't ask how he is doing. Don't call him. Let him call you and then just be nice but short and see what happens. I would love to talk to you on the phone if you ever want. It seems like it would be easier than emailing. Keep in touch. It's nice to have someone to talk to about these things that understands. Thank you
I don't really understand what your going through. I don't know that much about you or your H or history. It's nice to talk to you. I don't live in the USA, so it would be expensive to call although I would like to.
I don't know how far I'm getting with this DBing. It seems at the moment the only way to stop this affair is to pack up and leave (I'm trying not to listen to my feelings). My H is so attached to the OW that I don't see either of them calling it quits. I feel I could easily go on with or without my H. Except we have the children. I understand that I unintentionally complained and critized, didn't know how to treat or react to men and loved conditionally in the past. I've put a change to all that.
I need to get a life. See if that works to stop the affair. I'm hoping one day that my H will trust me with his telephone and email, like he used to before the affair.
Well I am a newbie here and this is my first post. I have been TTC for three years and my husband and I have been actively seeing a specialist for male IF and PCOS for over a year and I came home on January 16th to fine a note on my pillow that my husbans doesn't want to ttc anymore and that he has a girlfriend and is now living with her! I hope they both rot in hell. He told me to go on with my life nad find someone I can have children with. I told him that is not shat my marriage was based on and I could live as a childless couple, blah, blah, blah . . . No husband, No baby, No dream . . . He had a responsibility to tell me his feelings about the whole infertility journey. I feel so deceived and humiliated. I can't stop crying! I filed for divorce last week but that is not what I really want, however what I really want is dead - the old him. I am just amazed to find someone else who is going through infidelity and infertility. Perhaps we can support each other.
