Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers 3 years aftet D-Day and i finally registet

...Well, today it has been 3 years exactly since i discovered those love letters between her and her 1st cheating partner.

I really feel like calling her and asking what time frame in her life was better and when was she more happy........... Our 1st 8 years together or the past 3 3/4 years since she started drinking and cheating and now only gets to see her son a couple of hours per week.

Also, how did she ever expect a marriage to work when she always had a different guy she was thinking about.

I wont, but that'd what i feel like doing.

Ed


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Well off to do some work now.

Talk to myself again later today.

Ed

I haven't read your whole thread but from you post above, I think the more important question is what will make you happy?

past 3 3/4 years since she started drinking and cheating and now only gets to see her son a couple of hours per week.

Also, how did she ever expect a marriage to work when she always had a different guy she was thinking about.

Is this the kind of marriage you want to be in?

Good question. It's good to understand their frame of mind and decide whether you want to participate or not.

No, not like this.

Dont most people who have been cheated on and/or separated want that to stop though.

Her perception changed when she dropped out of AA and started drinking.

This now may or may not be the real her, just like her mother was.

By the way, thank you for replying. I felt like i was talking to myself on here.

Ed

I read that you are/were in AA. Have you thought of going to AlAnon. They are different programs with different focus. Many people end up in both. AlAnon, like DB, teaches you to keep the focus on you.

You've received some very good advice here. Are you applying any of it?

I am trying to detach. I daily look at what i only have control of and that is me.

I am sort of back working and starting my company up again.

I am a great dad and encourage her to be a better co-parent.

What else?

Ed

Dont most people who have been cheated on and/or separated want that to stop though.

Yes, but it seems that in the last 3 + years you've been waiting on her to change to make your life better.

Create a great life for you without her. Maybe she'll see that and want to be a part of it.

Her R with the your child is up to her, let her deal with that. Your job is to concentrate on being the best Dad you can be. You have no control over what kind of parent she is. Let it go.

It seems that you're living in the past, reliving everything that happened. It would be good if you could move your head to Sept 2012 and go from there.

My roofing crew did s good job and the customer is happy. We will finish the job tomorrow morning.

My MRI results came back and I have a herniated disc in my cervical spine.

I am following through with a realty investor tomorrow morning to sell my commercial property and advance me funds to get my back property taxes caught up and maybe enough to get my home out of foreclosure, i hope.

I need to select and pay for my company's insurance to get my licence back and pursue my career again.

I took 2 harleys to a shop to sell them on consignment last week.

I have several activities scheduled for my son through this weekend.

I am finally trying to GAL.

Ed

As someone else said earlier in this thead, ..........

As of today,

Absolutely Not.

Ed