Quote: Sage...in AA we are prompted to ask ourselves when we are angry or disturbed by someone else...what part of yourself is disturbed by that person....similar concept, no?
YES! The teacher mentioned the 12 steps many times during the workshop. congratulations on your continued sobriety!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Sage~ Thank you so much for making all of this information available.
I have really been struggling with forgiveness. I asked God to guide me in this area, as I think it is a key to so many areas of my life that are not where I want them to be.
Am printing this out and will be going through it to the letter.
I'm glad that people are responding so positively to this!
BTW -- I'm happy to share some of my journalling and/or answer specific questions if people get stuck or confused about what a particular step means...since I had the benefit of the teacher's undivided attention, I feel I had a great chance to cover all of my questions with him!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
1. h was at school all day -- working so hard to get his resume done and to get a jump start on studying! I got quite a few awesome, loving emails from him.
2. he was SO enthusiastic and excited to see me when he got home!
3. he has been so supportive about helping me put together my resume so that I can look for another job. I really feel SO GOOD about our R right now!
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I sat down last night and read my print out of this thread from start to finish to get an overview of the whole process. Then later in the evening I started in on the first excercise. I did have one question about writting the paragraph that describes this person. Should I include both positive and negative? I did that, but the feelings I am harboring stem from the negative aspects of this person. Those are what I really want to get to. I have a hard time just focusing on the "bad".
I must say that I could not even complete the paragraph as I knew the next step was looking at these traits through ME. Already MANY thoughts kept flooding my brain about that. I kept trying to focus back on my person, but finally just layed in bed and let the thoughts happen. I will work on part one again today.
Then later in the evening I started in on the first excercise. I did have one question about writting the paragraph that describes this person. Should I include both positive and negative? I did that, but the feelings I am harboring stem from the negative aspects of this person. Those are what I really want to get to. I have a hard time just focusing on the "bad".
Water -- for the first part of the exercise just write down the bad. Plenty of time to focus on the good in the later steps!
Quote: I must say that I could not even complete the paragraph as I knew the next step was looking at these traits through ME. Already MANY thoughts kept flooding my brain about that. I kept trying to focus back on my person, but finally just layed in bed and let the thoughts happen. I will work on part one again today.
Wow. That's really interesting! When I did the workshop the steps were laid out 1 at a time so I didn't know in advance that I was going to have to hold up the mirror and bright light to myself.
Hmmmm. Well, good for you for going with the flow, so to speak. Sounds like this exercise is really going to be fruitful for you.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Dear Sage, I am so glad I found this thread. I am sure this will be very helpful, I am struggling with forgiveness right now, but I know it is a necessary step for me and also for my H as we go through this journey. I was meditating about F last night, actually ever since the new year, and I have been having a lot of insight. For example, my Mom is the queen of resentment and unforgiveness. She hasn't talked to her only living relative,(besides her kids and GKids)her sister, in almost 20 years. She CAN'T forgive her sis for stuff that happened when their mother died. I have had a very bad role model! So this is something I have to learn how to do from scratch. Thanks for the help Blessings, Survival_Goddess
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Morning all! SG -- Thanks for the visit! I hope that you find the forgiveness exercise useful! Pam -- Thanks for the positive and bright start to my day!
Let's see...positives from yesterday:
1. had a movie and dinner date with h. went to see an old Bogart film. It was awesome! I love spending time with h!
2. lots of good affection throughout the night...holding hands, etc.
3. some good conversations with h...about school, my work, etc.
h has class tonight so I'm gonna go home and try to hit 2 of my 3 daily goals -- exercise (bagged the gym this AM) and the flybaby mission (I have been unbelievably lax about this!).
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Good morning Sage, I started in on the forgiveness excerise last night and I had a similar experience to Water... I used my H and I could clearly see when I got to the part about using the adjective in a sentence about the person being the adjectives part of myself. Not Pretty at all, and kind of a shock that I now see myself as a liar, and a sneaky cheat!
In defense I didn't start sneaking (snooping ) until evedince of OW was staring me in the face, but still not pretty. Also, everything I am furious at my husband for I have done to my parents. Understand, I was 17 (Not 40!) when I did these things, but I am still guilty of devious and hurtful behavior. And also, granted, I have been trying to make up to my parents with my actions for many many years. It will be interesting to go on to the next step!
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
