Thanks for your welcome comments everyone. My H had a very blank look on his face when I raised the number of threats he has made to D me over the last 12 months (over minor issues) as though he didn't remember...but even if they do remember...will they admit it?
I received your welcome thread on the Newcomers forum Cadet, if you have anything to add to it I would appreciate hearing from you.
The first thing you should do is be sure to read the Divorce Remedy book by MWD, Divorce Busting is also an excellent book.
Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support)
I have read a good deal of books on the subject and can give you some suggestions when you are ready.
I will give you a bunch of homework assignments to read. This is my ultra brand new and improved list of links.
Now you have all the tools to read. Let us know how your doing and if you have any questions.
I suggest that you read the entire thread in the resources. You can also pick out some people and read their whole story.
The stages of MLC as rewritten by HB from Jim Conway are a template which can only be laid over an MLCer's experience retrospectively. It's impossible to see the pattern until it has finished being laid or the crisis is complete.(nickel Cyrena). So do not be too concerned where your MLC'er is in this process. (Although my general guess is that they are in REPLAY)
Depression is the key to the whole thing and it is always present!
Believe none of what he says and 50% of what he does.
I would not ask him anything unless you can have no expectations. Sometimes asking them questions will be thought of as pressure. You do not want to do anything that can be thought of by your H as controlling or pressure.
Lets not worry about him. Lets work on you! Start your homework assignments. Something to DO while you are on moderation. GAL. Eat, sleep and take a deep breath. In general take care of your self first. Detach the single most important thing to DO.
Your H has given you a gift THE GIFT OF TIME use it wisely
Wow, my H must have a long-lost twin Aussie twin. Mr. Cranky Pants indeed!!! If only we could video them so they see how ridiculous they can be! I need to catch up on your sitch because tantrums/tirades are my H's specialty.
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
Regretful haha...the mother ship beams down cloned versions of Mr Cranky Pants. That is why they specialise in the same kind of behaviour and tantrums that the LBS witness.
Hey TVS, I'm OK. Hope you are doing OK? The happy pants come out occasionally, sometimes that only serves to confuse me because then the cranky pants appear again. Like this morning. I was turning on the TV by using the "ON" button...stupid me!!! Apparently I was supposed to use the "TV" button. I got a filthy venom filled look. SMH. I did get the TV to turn on using the "ON" button. Fancy that!!.
Don't you know, it's all a conspiracy? Happy/cranky - you never know which pants he's going to put on... and he might even have a few wardrobe changes during the day.
I can just imagine those cranky pants! They are probably too tight in the waist (and crotch). No wonder he is so cranky ;-)
Hope u are laughing GALBaby
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
