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You looking sexy already. So what do you want? Save this marriage? Yourself ? Don't know? All of the above? I hate multiple choices. Lol

Rick, I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm sexy right now, but I can pass for attractive.

And while I know it's important, I'd much rather be known for my personality and genuinely being a good person. After I catch your attention, I want to have some substance to keep you interested

I'd love to save my marriage, but that's not up to me right now. I can only do so much and just have to see what happens. I can save myself, so that's my focus right now.

Great insight, SBR! I like your moxy.

labug- I like that word, moxy! I haven't heard that in awhile, but I might have to start using it.

I've done a little better about being less available.

On Wednesday, I had a girls night and H called around 11pm. He had promised to bring my key by that day, but I have a feeling he was going to try to come over since he was calling so late.

I was talking with friends, so I didn't answer and he didn't leave a vm. About 20 minutes later I got a text with my name and about 6 ?'s after it. I just responded, "I'm still out". I'd never told him I was going out at all, but I was tagged on fb, so he might have known.

He then told me to have a good night and that he needed to give me my key the next morning. I told him to just put it under the mat since I'd be gone, so he said he still had to give me a check. I just told him to put that under the mat too!

Then he called today and I didn't answer because I was at work. He texted and asked me to call when I could. I just responded that I was at work, so it would be awhile. All he needed was the password to see the chase account so I gave him all the info by text.

I've been polite, but haven't actually spoken to him since Tuesday. It's been a long time since we've gone that long without speaking.

Saw that he's out to dinner with his roommate and "friend" tonight, so I was sad for a few minutes, but I've got a party to go to tomorrow if I don't work too late, so I'm trying not to think about it.

Actually, I just think I was more annoyed that he's at a restaurant again and hasn't paid me anything toward the closing costs that he owes me. Mexican food or paying off a debt? Hmm, I see where his priorities are.

I still haven't heard from H since his financial text on Friday. I worked most of the day yesterday and then went to a friend's birthday get together last night. I got to talking with her and one of her friends and didn't leave until after 2am.

I work again today and tomorrow is my only day off for the next 8 days or so. I've got plenty of school work to do, so I just hope that I can concentrate on it and not think too much about H.

I don't think we've ever gone this long without speaking to each other. I just need to remind myself that I'm strong and I'll be okay no matter what happens.

Three days of silence is nothing. Many "ex back" programs recommend 30 days of no contact after the beginning of a crisis. It seems as if H still has feelings for you but you are making it too easy for him. Don't be available that much, reduce ML, play hard to get. You are the prize, he has to work for it.

Thanks long run. We haven't ML in about two weeks now and I'm thinking that part of our R might be over.

I got a text last night from H asking how I was doing. I said I was well and he said he was doing ok. He asked a few financial questions and I said I wasn't by the computer so I'd let him know the next day. He said that he was texting because he hadn't heard from me in awhile.

Apparently he hasn't realized that I never text him, unless it's about a bill or something that he has to pay soon. I'll respond to his texts, but will never initiate a hello or good night.

I can tell that he's been checking my fb since he said it was good that I was moving on and having fun. I should have ignored it, but instead said that I wasn't "moving on" because I was still married but I did want to have a life.

Then I got annoyed because he said I shouldn't let a piece of paper keep me from missing out on something.

Our marriage is reduced to "a piece of paper"? I was so annoyed. Between that and not having ML in a few weeks, I just wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

I know I'm the prize and only a fool would leave me. I need to stop settling for crumbs and wait until he's ready to give me everything or be done with it.

I know that 3 days is nothing, I really do, but we would talk/text multiple times a day when once of us was out of town and we shared a home office when we weren't. I should be used to it by now, but I'm not.

"Not ML for a few weeks"... There are some dedicated spouses who have not ML in over 10 years, and some are still trying to solve the puzzle of what it will take to make their spouse want to desire them.

Last night I hosted an online dating company's singles mixer at a bar. It was work, so no socializing, but I decided to post about it on FB.

A few hours later, I got a text from H saying "he'd take care of it asap. sorry for being such a sh!++y husband."

I wasn't sure what he'd take care of , so I asked about that and said that he was actually a pretty good H before he'd given up.

Then H proceeded to have a R convo, that I tried to stay very neutral in. He said he regretted that he didn't make things happen sooner before it was too late. I didn't know if he was talking about D or what, so I asked and he said "trying to work things out."

The last talks we've had before have been about it being too late to work things out, so I knew better than to think he actually wanted to try, so I stayed calm. I told him he couldn't change the past, so no point in regretting it and just improve things in the present.

H then said he did regret it because things wouldn't be the way they are if he'd actually spoken up (first time admitting that maybe he really didn't tell me how bad he thought things were before he decided he was done!)

He then said I'd always be special to him and he wanted me to remember that, even after I moved on. I told him I felt the same and he replied that that feeling wouldn't ever go away, no matter how hard he tried to deny it.

Then he said a few things that were very cryptic and I didn't understand, so I replied with a ?. His response, " U just never know if paths cross again." While I was reading that, I got "I shouldn't have said that. Nevermind, good night." I said Night and that was the end of the convo.

I'm proud of myself for not mentioning anything about us or trying to pressure him.

I'm just going to keep on doing what I'm doing and trying not to wonder too much about what he's doing right now.

Regrets. He's starting to look back at the good now and not just the bad.

Good job of listening.