Amelie, since you have taken your H back, you are technically in piecing. The approach, advice, etc are different.

One thing that is discussed in the case of OW is the need for evidence that there is no contact, the other is complete transparency. This means access to H's cell phone, email, etc.

Perhaps you need to consider a boundary around transparency.

It sounds like your H has done little to nothing to earn his way back into a relationship with you. Promises aren't action.

When he is playful in the kitchen it's possible he's being sincere. He could be acting. He could also be giving you what he believes you want so that he can manipulate you.

What does your gut tell you?

me 45
H 46
T 5
M 2.5
BD Sept 6 2011
OW Sept 8 2011
Threw him out Sept 8 2011