Divorcebusting.com Forums Divorcebusting.com Archives Surviving the Big D Archives X demands full custody because I'm now engaged

Lawyer up. Seriously.

So X just called, said she had just left work and was on the way to talk to a lawyer. Before she did she wanted to try "one more time" for us to sit down "face to face" and try to "work this out". I said only if third party present because it's obvious we can't talk without WW3 as evidenced by recent phone convos.

I suggested counselor and told her that's what a judge would probably order anyway (translation: You don't have a case, get it?).

She ain't got jack and she knows it or as Shakespeare said,

"Methinks (s)he protesteth too much."

Be careful of the anger, sleeper. It can make you miss things.

She wants the control. I think you're right about that. She doesn't like that you're happy and moved on.

Her not wanting your kids to be with your fiance's kids?? WTF is that? What was the thought about what divorce means exactly? That's life...suck it up.

When I hear her want to talk it out, I hear she wants you to agree to her view. I don't know her, but take it for what it's worth.

Your lawyer might have something to say to the counselor as well, although they may not talk about specifics due to patient confidentiality. She should be sharing the same information with you that she does with ex. If not, then lawyer should have a field day with that. That's low hanging fruit for a lawyer.

You should not respond to your ex if you ask me. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. The less said by you and the more by her, the better for you and your kids.

She wants a fight. Don't give it to her on her terms, amigo.

AJ

So what was decided?

Good for you for insisting on a third party being present. She won't go for it, of course, because she's trying to bully you into what she wants.

And yes, definitely consult with a lawyer about your rights regarding the kids and the therapist. I don't know anything about that area of the law, but it seems weird to me that a therapist can see a minor child and keep one of the parents completely out of the loop - that doesn't sound right. And as best I know, doctor-patient privilege with minors only applies to treatment for STDs and sexual issues like birth control in my state.

Btw - how did the therapist seem to react to the information you gave her, especially the information about son talking about what if mommy got a gun?

She was very professional, very deadpan expression. I told her several things that that have happened thst to a rational person sound unbelievable. I also told her how X tried to turn it around and I believe was texting me on DS's phone as if it was DS texting me (lots of big words correctly spelled, not DS's style). Her eyes opened ever so slightly a couple of times. Knowing my luck she thinks I'm crazy.

Oh, X flipped flopped back to "can't you see this is what's best for the kids education?" and had stepped away from, "I won't allow my children to live with your fiancée's out of control kids."

Yes, her last comment was a statement of desire to see it her way. I told her I don't and we have to accept that we never will. My favorite was:

"Just because the kids would be living with me during the week doesn't mean you'll have any less time with them."

Presently the time is split 50/50, week and weekend on, week and weekend off.

I suspect she believes the C will agree with her (she already has DD convinced) and then theyll gang up on me and I'll cave.

Stop answering the phone. Text her back or email her a response. As long as you get on the phone, you are allowing her to put you on the spot and react.

A lawyer is an excellent suggestion.