Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Alien Invasion Pt 2

GB, I LIKE the part about him laughing a lot and the nice family dinner. It sounds like his emotions are just raging all over the place! Must be hard for you!

Do you paint again tomorrow?

I thought of a funny story for you:

I have been growing my curly hair longer because H likes it that way, and really I do too. Well, I make some potion with boiling water and lavender essential oil that cools and you put it in a misting bottle to revive the curls by spraying them and scrunching them. It looks and smells great.

So one day this past winter after H had been out drinking the night before, he hugged me and said disgustedly, "your hair smells like beer!" I was crestfallen! I thought it smelled great. Then he said "oh, I think I'm the one that smells like beer" but he still looked at me accusingly.

Then, about a month ago (I'm still using the lavender spray) he came in and hugged me warmly and tenderly said "oh....you smell SO good!"

Things that make you go, hmmmmmm........

Yes their mood changes are hard to take. Never really knowing what will happen next. That's why it is important to detach I guess and just be the best we can be. Still pressing on here despite all the confusion.

Hang in there GAL! Remember, day by day...

RH, I loved your story! It reminded me of something funny my H did months ago.

During the darkest days around here, H was also extremely paranoid about everyone being out to get him. This of course included me.

One evening when packing lunches for the next day, I had to go downstairs to get juice boxes for sons's preschool. As I am taking them out of the fridge, my H comes flying in the basement from the garage and practically yells at me, "What are you doing?!?"

Now, I wanted to give him a smart a$$ sarcastic comment such as, "Plotting your demise with the help of the refrigerator and this Capri Sun", but instead just opted for "Getting the juice boxes for tomorrow."

Ah yes, the lighter side of MLC! Although it didn't seem so light at the time.

Keep smiling!

Tvs, you are very funny! I can only imagine the anguished look of worry on your H's face! Haha!

GB, what's been going on?

TVs you are such a gem...really you are. Nothing much here..still helping my friend with her painting. H was going to throw his job in today..he needs to find something else first!!!!! What an MLC thing to do. He thinks he can threaten them to get what he wants.....what next? Luckily it didn't happen. I did talk to him..but you know we can't really control them. How much damage will he do? Hope you guys are ok. Am on my phone so making it short.

Oh, I'm a real gem alright... Maybe a diamond in the rough???

It sounds like you are experiencing something else similar to me. It seems lately I have stepped outside of how H's MLC affects me and our M, and see how it is affecting his life in general. They are so self destructive, and can't see it.

I was talking with a good friend about my H and OW. She knows both, works with them. I told her that besides losing me (which who knows how he currently would feel about that) and his family, if they were discovered at work he could lose his good reputation, respect of his peers, friendships, and possibly even his job. I'm not certain this has even crossed his mind.

You have given your H some good advice and tried to steer him on the right path. Ultimately though, he will make his own decisions, no matter how bad they are.

This is where I feel much compassion for my H. To be a human tornado and create such destruction in your life without even realizing it would be horrible. And then to one day wake up to all the damage you caused... Horrific.

Keep up the good work Gal. You are growing more each day.

GB, that's scary with him not seeing realistically about his job. I guess it's the same way he sees your family sitch. Like he doesn't really get the whole picture. It's hard to hold on some days, but you are doing it!

Back again...appreciate your comments. You guys are keeping me going. Some days its hard to keep moving forward. The hardest part for me is not knowing what the future brings. I can't plan anything. Now that i've lost my job I feel totally trapped and at the mercy of H, which I don't like one bit. I always liked that I could and did work and could contribute something to the household as well as my own self. I definitely don't like that H is making decisions that impact on everyone, in his current state of mind.

Sometimes I wonder if i am walking around with a "kick me" sign on my back. Hahaha. You guys are amazing. Thankyou.

I know Gal, Limbo Land is tough. But I am beginning to see that we get to create our own futures. The tough part is accepting that it may not include our H's, or include them in the capacity we're used to.

No one would dare put a kick me sign on you!

I've read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, its a good philosophy to practice especially in this sitch. You just reminded me that I need to re-read and practice it. You can't change the past, you can't predict the future, all you have is now....live it!!