The rationale behind my belief that in-person is best is for them to see your calm resolve. You look them straight in the eye, and calmly, firmly yet lovingly deliver your script (practiced dozens of times ahead of time, btw, lol). You want them to see (or at least hear, if you have to do this by phone) your calm resolve and strength.
Starsky
^^^ Agreed.
But I do think that they can also hear that in your voice if you do it by phone, and even in the words that you choose to put in an email.
I was 'lucky' enough to experience all 3 forms of delivering the message! LOL!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
This is a tough dilema, and although we can all offer you advice on delivering the message face-to-face, you have to do what you feel comfortable with. Because if you decide to deliver message in person and waver in just the least bit, she will be ready to pounce all over you like a Cheetah chasing down a Gazelle!!
We all know that 99% of women can sense the blood & weekness of a man from over 500yds away...They have an evil gift of tasting their prey before they even sink their teeth into it.
If you do decide to deliver this in person, you might want to take Starsky's advice and rehearse this multiple times in front of the mirror or a very trusting friend who could pretend to respond like your W would. Another option would be to take a couple Xanax before you see her & wing it
I would have to agree with suppo to a certain extent. I think it all comes down to what you feel is appropriate. Personally, there’s no way in he!l I could memorize all that. I would also break down like a littly baby, but that’s just me.
Alk, nce all over you like a Cheetah chasing down a Gazelle!!
We all know that 99% of women can sense the blood & weekness of a man from over 500yds away...They have an evil gift of tasting their prey before they even sink their teeth into it.
Really? Guess I missed that gene.
At least I can belong to this 1%
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
You know I respect your advice and I hope you know that I meant that as an honest joke! The percentage is a bit high, but in my experience women have always been better at reading a man's verbiage & body language way better than us men. If it weren't so true, half of us men would pick those signals that ya'll send in the beginning & most likely get our heads out of our A$$ES earlier in the R.
I was seriously just trying to lighten the impact for what he is pondering on whether or not he should approach in person or not.
Please accept my apology if I truly offended you in anyway with my comments, and please continue to provide your feedback/advice to my sitch, because I truly honor the Woman's opinion on here of how we can or should approach things.
I accept your apology and take what you said in the spirit it was intended.
But I think that when we start lumping groups of people into one heap, we are doing them, and ourselves, a disservice.
This I believe: “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Still happy to be in the 1%!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
But I think that when we start lumping groups of people into one heap, we are doing them, and ourselves, a disservice.
This I believe: “Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
Still happy to be in the 1%!
I totally respect that!
I also like your quotes! You don't mind if I snag them & save them in my personal files, do you?
Alk,
I wish you the best of luck no matter which direction you choose to go with your message!
No problems about the "Hijack"... I'm not sure I agree with the 99% thing either, but everyone's entitled to their opinion!
Now, Journaling:
It's been a pretty good weekend thus far. In between my continuous contemplation of when I'll have this conversation with W, I spent a ton of time with friends: Friday night closing out a bar and pizza shop and getting home at 6 am! Yesterday I hung with my older brother and got to chat about this situation and hear his advice as well.
Today, as the weather is getting kinda nasty (Hurricane Issac will be passing by later today and we're already getting tons of rain) Jut planning on getting some chores done around the house, maybe watching a movie and catching up with some friends over the phone.
W texted me on Thursday, wishing me hopes for a good day and telling me we would "talk soon", but I know that usually means very little. I'm not sure I'm quite ready to have this talk with her the next time we chat, but I'm also not sure how much longer I can stay on the path of ignoring the mounting evidence and the growing number of people pointing it out to me...
