Thanks Punkin:) Craziness continues - it is the constant...
My oldest D had contacted her Dad and tried to tell him to please avoid bringing third person into relationships for a while - just try to work on relationships with kids. He didn't hear. Middle D said that her dad arranged to bring new gf to see her this week.
I made progress this weekend cleaning out the basement with the help of my oldest D. Trying to lease my house out and just get a new vision going for myself.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
IB, You are making progress in your home! Don't over do to where you injure yoruself.
As for your xh, the more your children try to tell him about the third person, the more determined he will be to put her in the middle of everything.
What would you like as a new vision for yourself?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh, your xh will get uglier for a while because the new gf is supporting his behavior, but eventually it will die down. He has absolutely no control over you or the children...he'll have to turn that control over on to the gf. Wonder how that will work out...lol!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
New vision for myself: debt free, at peace, loved and loving, healthy,
I am sooooo proud of YOU!
As for XH - let him be...minimize contact..and stay the course on YOU.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Bit of a setback this weekend that prompted a forward move - literally:) Had put the house up for lease (after speaking with XH in August - who said it was fine to do because houses weren't moving in this area and he wasn't in a hurry). First family came in and wanted it....AWESOME! Out of the blue - email from XH. VERY cold - basically a checklist. Here's son's license bill for his car (remember XH was responsible for s's car). Also - house is going up for sale at end of month per divorce decree. If it doesn't sell - going to auction in a month. WHAT? Apparently new gf of 4 months wants all ties broken sooner rather than later. OK....fine iwth me. Told him I would be out of house on the 21st (ironically what would have been our 27th anniversary) and that he would be responsible for selling the house. I only stayed in the house to have one less loss for son - kids and I have loved living in this old flawed house - it has our character:) End of the day though - it's a thing. SO....having HUGE moving sale on Saturday. Moving into my oldest D's house while it's up for sale. They have moved into their new house. This is nice for me.
XH visited middle d last week. She said X was wearing a necklace with a whistle on it. She asked her dad about it - he told her new gf had googled him and found out he was a star high school bb player. She had his stats engraved on it... D thought it was interesting what generates his pride these days. He never was able to transition from the pride of youth achievements to the selfless pride that comes from leading a family. Smart kid...
So I'm selling everything the kids don't want and breaking free from the last hold the marriage has had on me. I think it will be good for me... Figuring out what is next for me...fighting anxiety and trying to find some peace.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
Yes, yes! You are doing great....keep moving forward IB. It gets hard sometimes, but most days are filled with joy and love. Look for little things that make you happy. Because, it is now all about you!
I read the beginning of this thread and I still get angry even two years past. I agree with Snodderly, it's part of the process and you must feel to heal. Just sit with your emotions and let them flow through you. It will all be over soon. And, I believe there are no accidents. Everything for a reason.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
So I'm selling everything the kids don't want and breaking free from the last hold the marriage has had on me. I think it will be good for me
A fresh start for YOU...is IMO, the best for YOU.
Now every action you take will be for YOU.
Where you live What furniture you get what color you paint the rooms
Everything....
It will all be YOU.
You will look back at some point and realize..."holy chit I did it!".
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Friends, I need prayers. Financially, I am drowning. After 2.5 years of trying to keep things together - it is quickly unraveling. I've done everything I can to keep moving forward - to keep my head up but I have failed. I am not sure what the next few weeks will hold - but I know I need thoughts and prayers. IB
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
IB, Talk to a financial advisor and see what he/she would suggest you do.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
