Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis And so it goes...

2 weeks for an umbilical hernia?? My daughter had the surgery ( out patient) and was up and around in 3 days. Must be the age thing. LOL I understand it is quite uncomfortable. He probably got it trying to suck in his stomach for uncalled for long periods of time.

LOL

I agree - bid BooHoo here going on. It is no big deal these days as a rule

If there are no complications, they generally do "out patient" surgery. The question I have is what type of work does he do? If he does a lot of lifting, he will be placed on light duty.

Sounds to me like he wants sympathy and a huge boo boo strip.

IB,

Sounds like your X is having a hard time in many areas of his life.

Maybe while he's having his operation they could examine his head, too.

You all are great:)

Hold on to your boots - my XH is a school counselor!!!!! That adds the next level of bizarreness!

ANYWAY...I had a GREAT weekend! Was doing really well and then XH calls out of the blue. Says he went to see son and it went "ok." Maybe he will get a car to son or - he says, "my girlfriend" might drive it to him. I didn't respond. Told me he was "finally" having that surgery. I acted as though I didn't know - said good luck. He said he really regretted the fact that son has shown his temper over the last couple of years and that I didn't feel comfortable enough to call him. REALLY??? Anyway - now that he is finally "happy" he is going to make more effort to contact the kids more frequently. He said that since they didn't receive him so well early on - he gave them "space."

Keep talking buddy - it helps the pain go away. You are friggin' CRAZY!!!

Hope all have a great week:)

Thought I would share some insights after going through my first week of empty-nesting:)

Actually had a pretty fabulous week - went to dinner at my fave restaurant ALONE:) Went spinning at 5:30am on M, W, and F:) Spent this Friday night out of town with my best friend and then spent yesterday and today moving my middle D back in to her apartment for school. Great time (yes, even the moving)

While I was doing this - my son continued to struggle with his father. Son got a ride from school to a town about an hour a way. He asked me to pick him up - but I told him that I had had these plans to go out of town and couldn't. So he asked his father. X said ok. X shows up with new gf (this after our oldest D had a long talk with her dad telling him before he brings new people into the picture he needed to work on developing relationships with them first). S did not speak the entire way home. GF says - "do you know what I do for a living? I am self employed as a therapist. Your father and I have quickly grown fond of each other and we support each other fully." S still does not respond. She adds "you are the rudest person I have ever met. If you were my kid you would get nothing from me." X drops son off - son is on porch crying - X says, "I'm so sorry - I will help you however I can." Tells him that gf is in AA and recovering....S says "REALLY Dad? - REALLY???"

This situation was the kick I needed. I always trick myself into thinking that HE (X) is living this normal, clean life and I am the crazy one. I always believe the new gf is going to be "the one" - and I get so down. I convince myself that she is so much better than me. I placed him on such a pedestal for so long. Do you know how much drama I have created over the last 2.5 years? NONE - it's not me. I lead a quiet, grateful life. I am happy for what I have. I love my family and friends and spend time showing that. They (as well as you all:)) have been there for me and I am not going to take one more minute of their time hurting for what is lost.

Have a great Sunday - I know I am going to:)

IB,
Your first week has been a busy and fulfilling one for you, as well as openning the door for you to get a glimpse into the life of your xh. He's not living the happy go lucky life that you may have imagined. He doesn't have a clue about what he's lost...but in time...he will. He's just not to that cross road yet.

As for your son, I'm very sorry that the gf was so rude to him. No one asked her opinion about your son's behavior and how she would handle it. She's a therapist? She should have gotten the message from his silence at the beginning and should have stopped trying to engage your son in conversation when she didn't get any comments from him. She sounds like a doozy!

I'm glad you are doing well your first week. I believe you will enjoy your "empty nesting" time and will discover that there is life out there waiting for you to live. Spread your wings and fly! You've earned it!

Agreed. You DESERVE it.


Peace,
AJ

I would think that a therapist might have had some insight as to why S was silent and angry, and been sympathetic and more kind.

"I am happy for what I have. I love my family and friends and spend time showing that. They (as well as you all:)) have been there for me and I am not going to take one more minute of their time hurting for what is lost."

IB, I too am grateful for life, grateful for the people who have been good to me, and basically feel happy.

I met New Guy and he (and his family) are part of my happiness, but I was also happy on my own. I think that's important!

Irish,

Just read about your first week, and although it is not funny, had to laugh about the new GF. Just what everyone needs: a therapist with more personal drama than her patients. Perhaps she is a physical therapist. A sex therapist? A massage therapist? A veteranary therapist? That's it!! She's a horse whisperer.