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ces67 #2271251 08/14/12 01:59 PM
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Amelie7 Offline OP
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Today H txt me he says he wants to talk to me this afternoon, and I replied that I would talk to him but outside our home. I'm praying right now for a peaceful conversation and I don't know why I'm nervous! (He's my husband and I'm nervous, what gives?). Thank you for your advice, early this morning I went for a walk to clear my head, that call last night really upset me. I still wonder who was that female...

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Amelie7 Offline OP
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Back again, had the talk with H inside his car. H started to talk about how busy he is at work and how many complaints he's getting from the contractors etc...(he's not even looking at me in the eyes during the whole convo) Then he started to talk about how difficult it has been for him to find a place of his own, that hes paying his debts because he says he has a lot of them. Then he dropped the d bomb once again, he kept saying that we need to get it together because he doesn't feel anything towards me anymore and that he knows what he wants now. I kept listening to all his non sense, studying his body language ( he kept fidgeting not looking at me in the eyes) and inside my head I wanted to slap him silly. I kept my cool listened to him, I told him that if he wanted the D that he will have to do all the work. He said he was going to see a lawyer and get all the paperwork done.

I told him that I had to go and he kept going on about the D as I was exiting the car.

I walked out of there smiling, because A) He has NO MONEY to hire a lawyer

B)He has no place of his own

C)I kept myself cool without turning "ghetto" on him lol


Also we spoke about that woman's phone call and he has no idea who called me to say those things.

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Hi Amelie

Good job keeping cool.

Your husband, like most spoken of here, is very likely depressed. Can you get your hands on a copy of Depression Fallout by Anne Sheffield. It can help you navigate the choppy waters of his depression and is very much in line with DB. I really think it would be a good resource for you.


me 45
H 46
T 5
M 2.5
BD Sept 6 2011
OW Sept 8 2011
Threw him out Sept 8 2011
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Amelie7 Offline OP
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I'm so proud of myself guys! Thanks for all your wonderful advice. I know he's depressed and I think he may have midlife crisis??

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No it doesn't sound like he's in MLC. How old is he? Sounds like something else going on inside of him and he's using you as a scapegoat.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Amelie7 Offline OP
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He's 34....

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Amelie, the behavior of depressed men is very much like that described for MLC, right down to the script. How you respond right now is critical. Follow DB and seriously...check out Depression Fallout.


me 45
H 46
T 5
M 2.5
BD Sept 6 2011
OW Sept 8 2011
Threw him out Sept 8 2011
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Very glad you stayed calm. You're going to hear a good bit of this and the more in control of yourself you are the better you will weather these interactions. Keep is posted.


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
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Amelie7 Offline OP
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eek I was reading a bit online about men's depression, and some of the symptoms are on the dot! Why didn't I see that...gosh this is gonna be a roller coaster ride...

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Yes, it is. Sorry. And unfortunately he'll have to decide for himself to get help. You may want to get some more information for yourself on how to handle yourself in this situation. Not sure but there may be a forum here regarding the topic. I know the book covers its briefly.

You will come through this standing on your own 2 feet. Keep that in mind. Its a bumpy ride...


Me:45, W:45
S:16 D:13
M:22, T:25
Bomb: July 2010
Putting finances in order for "D"
Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
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