Water thats extremelly change in mood and typical depression signal... so... enjoy when he is full happy and give him a shoulder when he is full sad... i think there are many many baby steps in him even with the depression issue... and please, remind caring abpout yourself... Andrea
Well here it is Friday morning and I am thinking about H and Seattle. The last contact with him was on Wednesday morning. I do want to go to Seattle, but I don't want to pursue, push. I want to give him his space and I know he is having some turmoil in his head right now.
So I wrestling with the decision as to wether to contact him and offer to come up or not. Here are the options I have worked out in my head. Please vote for your favorite!
Option #1 Call him today. Be friendly and happy. Maybe at the end of the conversation, something like: "ya know I'm here if you ever need anything. No worries, just to have someone who knows you to hang out with and have some fun. Just give a call sometime!
Option #2 Sent him a text message: Familiar, happy, funny friend has ticket will travel. No pressure, going with the flow! Give a call sometime.
Option #3 Do nothing and let him contact me.
Here are some thoughts that are leading up to these choices. *He seems to be in a depression stage. Not quite sure what he wants/needs from day to day *He seems to be sending me fun pages. At least earlier this week. *He seems to be protecting his privacy in Seattle quite a bit. He does not let me know his schedule or goings on there. *He has been very busy this week and has much work to do. He told me during his surprize visit that he had a lot to do and would be very busy. *I don't want to put any type of pressure on him. I don't want him to feel like he has a lot of pressure to complete his work and feel like he either needs to entertain me or to feel bad that he is saying no to me coming up. *He will be at his mom's house next weekend. He was just there at Thanksgiving and seemed to start reaching out more after that visit. I know he asked his sister what he thought of me and him while he was there last time. So that was bouncing around in his head. *Maybe let him miss me a bit prior to his visit with family *Want to apply DB principal of not being quite so available. Maybe he feels too comfortable that I will always be there. No reason to look at his issues. *Don't want him to feel that I am not here for him by not being so available. *Maybe he really wants me to make an effort to say Hey! I'm coming up! *Maybe It's just me who wants to THINK that He wants me to make that effort.
OK so now I have really confused myself even more.
The polls are now open! Please cast your vote for your favorite Water's option. Also please feel free to alter any of the candidates or write in your own.
What did you do in the movie with Squirt? You let him go in a nice way, and he whoooshed right back to you.
Your shell seems to be intact (hey, didn't you just get it waxed?) and you're making progress.
I have to tell you that I agree with Ellie about the part of your H sounding depressed. In fact, your H and Mr. W. seem to react similarly... moods all over the place and the timing not predictable at times.
I've found that the best thing to do is just be me. Not anticipate which H is going to show up at my door (or call me on the phone). As long as I'm me, I'm okay with that.
I'm voting with Option 3, although I'm half tempted to say 2. Sometimes they need to hear that the interest is still there. HOWEVER, your H is fully aware of your feelings and interest, so I don't think that you need to convince him.
Big hugs. Don't forget to get your exit buddy if you decide to pick #1 or #2.... You might need some moral support if he decides to retreat to his cave. Whatever you do, don't take it personally.
Big hugs!
Betsey (aka Bruce)
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
#3... pushing impedes progress... Honey, he flew ALL THE WAY home last time... he knows you are there... HE needs to work this out on his own. I know you think that he is ripe for the picking... but if you let him come back by himself, work this out by himself, simply wait patiently, he will, and the issues remaining will work themselves out on their own... Just be PATIENT... he's coming, on his time.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I dunno, I like #2. He's reaching out to you, he's miserable - if you send a funny, no-strings-attached text with an offer to come up and hang out he might grab at it like a lifeline. And if you word it right, you can handle a "no" answer with no loss of face.
option 1 What's that you say? you have no plans this weekend? Familiar, funny freind has ticket will travel! Option 2 Awwwhhh you have to work and have lots going on? Thats cool. Have a good one!
I'm open to better message that doesn't push. Don't know if thats possible. But......
How did you get to have a ticket? Does your H know you have it? If not, you could mention that you have it, but leave it for him to suggest how you use it!
Livnlearn
"The unexamined life is not worth living" - Socrates
