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Zig I hope you DON"T forget to live life. When you go back to living things will get much better. And you are still a wonderful lady. Don't forget.

I don't know where or who this is from but...

It's not the letting go that hurts, it's the holding on.

My view, I don't think we ever attain forgiveness, we work at it every day. At least that's been my experience.

And the more we let go of other people and outcomes, the easier it is.

Some days the path is easy, some days it isn't.

Fulfillment comes from staying on the path.

hey zig, i love how you use your thread to ask such great questions and that helps all of us grow.

i have been doing a meditation lately by jack kornfield on forgiveness and he walks through three parts: forgiving yourself for the ways you've hurt others, forgiving yourself for the ways you have hurt yourself and forgiving others for the ways they have hurt you.

the first two parts really create the space and heart for the third.. this meditation has really helped shift my heart..

in one of his talks, he also says something like "forgiveness is giving up any hope for a better past"

(((( ))))

LOVE THIS. I was posting to someone recently about dropping the rope on trying to control the past but this is far more eloquent.

Saw this on FB from "hippie peace freaks". It resonates with me:

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

Lewis Smedes

Hi everyone - so many responses. what a wonderful contribution.

Thank-you.

if you don't mind i'll respond in one post.

greatwhite:
thank you so much for this. as i read it I realized that i need to give myself permission to do certain things like acknowledging that there was harm done by another person. It is okay for me to truly acknowledge that.

Forgiveness is not saying what happened doesn't matter.

it's okay for me to say it DOES matter. can i find this article on line? I hope so, i would like to read the whole thing. thank you, again - and i agree with you about the 4 stages - i need to deliberately go through each of them, for so many people - not just my h.


ces:
a reminder that those things most valuable are often those that require great effort to gain.

yes this requires effort, but i see the value now - and it is like a big fat shiny gem, tempting me to keep pursuing this course of action. i know now for the first time that the genuine act of forgiveness will give me inner peace about so much and that is the jewel to achieve.

I will not let the negative impact the opportunity for the positive any longer. that has happened way too much in my life, for way too long

thank-you ces - and i hope you are having a beautiful day today ....zig


rick
thanks for stopping by we don't see you around too much, so i am honored. you are definitely one of the first that pointed out i was a wonderful person. the constant suggestion of that from you, helped me to gain the first real steps of self-confidence.

i'm not forgetting to live life- just trying to learn how to live it right for me after a very long time.


labug -
I don't know where or who this is from but...
It's not the letting go that hurts, it's the holding on.
My view, I don't think we ever attain forgiveness, we work at it every day. At least that's been my experience.
And the more we let go of other people and outcomes, the easier it is.
Some days the path is easy, some days it isn't.
Fulfillment comes from staying on the path.


as always - wise wise words and always given when needed the most. i will try to stay on the path - always.



ng:

"forgiveness is giving up any hope for a better past"

that is what i really needed to hear. when i read that i realized how much i hoped for things to have been different - not just talking about just my marriage either. it is a profound thing to change within myself and i am ON IT!!

this , along with labugs " It's not the letting go that hurts, it's the holding on." - i feel like i'm set on the first steps towards healing and forgiving myself.


reaching:
hippy peace freaks? - oh yes. i love that quote, too!! we all need to set ourselves free, don't we?


thank you all - such a great beginning to this thread:)

zig

to everyone,

I know that I "closed" my last thread rather abruptly.

I've thought a lot about why and how i did it. i'm not sure if the impression given was 'enough, i don't want to talk about this anymore"

i think it was. in retrospect, i see my own pattern - when things got too heavy and i felt pressured, i got overwhelmed, both by what i was reading as well as what i wrote, i reacted by shutting it down

i want to change that. i can't take back what i did (life lesson always), but i can be conscious of it and take steps to change it.

if anyone would like to continue the discussion about what is the best stance to take in their sitch, they are welcome to, on my thread.

zig

Zig,

That is pretty impressive of you to acknowledge that in yourself.



Nice!

thank you j3b -

i will admit i was reluctant to admit it to myself, but this new compulsion to come through unburdened by who i was - it doesn't allow me to do that any more

thanks for stopping by - i appreciate it very much

zig

Someone told you this crap was easy?

You should kick them between the legs. HARD. : )