No there's nothing wrong with searching for answers religiously or spiritually on here. In fact, all your relationships (whether it be with your kids, your W, with God, etc.) all comes from the same place. It's all about seeing the not-so-obvious.
When you first read DB, you're suddenly "enlightened" as to what caused your M to fail. The signs were always there, but you just didn't see them. You relied on faith. Faith that your W was just always going to be there and that your M would always be good.
Same thing with spiritual growth. You're given everything you have right in front of you. Sometimes it just takes a simple shift to realize that you may be pointed in a direction.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"I walked away from any ideas about God. But sometimes, out of habit, I ask for a sign to see if there is any chance we could be together. So far, if God exists, he's only shown me there isn't."
I'm not exactly a heavy church-goer but isn't this a bit extreme? You know He gave everyone free will. You have free will as well as your W. Just because you're not getting what you want, it doesn't mean that He's not out there. Did you ever think that He set up the situation for you to learn something in the end? I know I did.
I felt the same way you did, but then I realized that if this didn't happen I wouldn't understand what being in a good marriage is or that I wouldn't be as good a father as I am now.
Just sounds childish that you back pedal from God just because you don't get what you want. Faith in Him is unwaivering no matter what the circumstances. And there's ALWAYS someone who is worse off than you. Thank God you're not one of the people who is struggling with a D and have health issues or have had the cops called on them. It's happend many times on here.
Absolutely MrBond!! If anything TPC, this should make your walk with GOD stronger. You are both on different paths for different reasons, and each one of you has a lesson & healing to take place before GOD would ever let you both come back to the same old situation as before!
I will pray for you & your wife!
Definitely come here often for venting/perspectives, as these VETS have all been there & I would say that many of them had almost the same exact situation as the rest of us, whether it was a WAW or WAH.
My wife may be leaving the kids alone until after midnight. My daughter called and said she wasn't feeling good and my wife was getting ready to go to her boyfriend's house. When my daughter asked where she was going she wouldn't tell her. She did say she was going to the grocery store to get her some medicine. But she was also going out for a while. She told them later she was coming back after midnight. One daughter is 17. The other is 13.
If this is constant what rights do I have to ask my wife to leave so I can come back home to take care of them? One of them is my step-daughter (17). However and I worry she wouldn't want to stay there under my authority.
Me:42 W:43 M:03/08/98 SD17, D13 Found out about affair:12/16/10 Found out again: 06/22/12 Split: 06/22/12
I'm not sure if that constitutes her as being a minor, however you are still her parent. Tell your W that you are concerned about your D and are going to take care of her. That you don't care about where she's going and that the children's welfare comes first. If she gives you a hard time about it, tell her that you will charge her with child endangerment if she leaves them unattended and can discuss it with your L but you will be taking care of your child.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Thank you. I'm going to try and take a day to go talk to my wife about what we need to agree on with our legal separation, the children, and our house and bills. I've covered for her for way too long now. It's time she takes responsibility for what she has done and what path she choses to take now. I am not going to be spiteful or ugly in any sort of way, but I am going to tell her what I expect and that we will be discussing it with the lawyer taking care of our separation.
I'm hoping my wife will agree and allow my to move back in the house to take care of things. She can live wherever she wants as long as she is responsible for what she owes.
I have to say, this is not the woman I married. She is doing things that I would have never imagined she would do. She's living her life apart from what her norm is. I'm suspecting drugs, drinking, and a hormonal/chemical things going on. My love for this woman hasn't changed at all. I love her deeply. Miss her tremendously. And taking this action will be one of the hardest things I've ever done.
Me:42 W:43 M:03/08/98 SD17, D13 Found out about affair:12/16/10 Found out again: 06/22/12 Split: 06/22/12
After 3 years Tpc this is who your wife is. You need to realize this. It will help you with this meeting with her. Do not confuse charm or tears with her actions. You need to be very precise and strong in this conversation. Lead the conversation.
Lay down the concepts.
Then follow through with actions.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
