Good morning! It's been a few weeks since I updated. I have been reading and posting sporadically but figured I would start a new thread with a brief update. Nothing really exciting going on here, which is ok with me.
Our court date got postponed and just the reschedule for late August. When he found out about it he emailed to say "what is this, I thought we were going to try to do this out of court with just us and the lawyers" so I suggested he contact his L to find out. Less interaction is best, for me anyway.
STBX was making excuses to come to the house, things that he felt needed fixing or that I wasn't doing (in his opinion). The biggest was the lawn maintenance. So I hired a landscaping company. Best money I have spent yet. They are wonderful! I own and operate a business and my kids are both busy with work and school. It makes the most sense to handle it this way.
The most recent turn of events was a minor incident and so ridiculous. He had a fake acct on FB that he had created a while back for my dog. It didn't occur to me that I had to block that acct when I was locking things down months ago. Well yesterday morning while emailing with STBX about the kids, I noticed my 'dog' was online at the same time. He was using that acct which was totally inactive, to spy on me. There is nothing on my page to see other than my walks, pictures of the kids and sunrises, etc. It was just very sad to be honest. I can't believe I am saying this, and its comical...I have now blocked my dog hahaha
Other than that things are going well, enjoying the summer with the kids so far. Training every day for the 3 day walk in October. Getting ready for vacation and counting down the days. My girlfriends have all started packing already so I think I am behind.
Our court date got postponed and just the reschedule for late August. When he found out about it he emailed to say "what is this, I thought we were going to try to do this out of court with just us and the lawyers" so I suggested he contact his L to find out. Less interaction is best, for me anyway.
***Smart.
STBX was making excuses to come to the house, things that he felt needed fixing or that I wasn't doing (in his opinion). The biggest was the lawn maintenance. So I hired a landscaping company. Best money I have spent yet. They are wonderful! I own and operate a business and my kids are both busy with work and school. It makes the most sense to handle it this way.
***Even smarter!
The most recent turn of events was a minor incident and so ridiculous. He had a fake acct on FB that he had created a while back for my dog. It didn't occur to me that I had to block that acct when I was locking things down months ago. Well yesterday morning while emailing with STBX about the kids, I noticed my 'dog' was online at the same time. He was using that acct which was totally inactive, to spy on me. There is nothing on my page to see other than my walks, pictures of the kids and sunrises, etc. It was just very sad to be honest. I can't believe I am saying this, and its comical...I have now blocked my dog hahaha
I always look for you too bug Vacation is in 9 days..not that I am counting down or anything haha
I know, isn't he smart Rick. I should get him an agent.
He actually admitted to it this morning when I said "do not text, call or speak to me. Please do everything through the L's" No need to admit it if I saw it with my own two eyes. I guess he thinks he can still tell me "no you don't really see what you think you see"
So I was willing to forgive and move past the facebook stalking, only to have him attempt pulling the strings behind the scenes this morning. S18 got up and said "when are the landscapers coming back to do the garden, dad told me to go out and weed today"
Sigh, I tensed up immediately.
I called him at work and it didn't go as well as I would hope so I took it to email. Better to have the written trail anyway. So I sent the following and praying he gets it this time...
I am keeping to email because honestly I just can't talk to you, and don't want to talk to you
My point is you have no right to overstep my boundaries, and I won't allow it.
Under my roof (where I live, I realize the house is still yours too) I have control over what happens, what the kids help with, and how it gets done
I don't need you pulling the strings like that, it is none of your business.
It always comes back to this, and it is getting shorter and shorter between times I say it
Just leave me alone, it is easier on both of us, just don't talk to me at all.
I was willing to forgive your facebook stalking and less than 24 hours later you are trying to play puppet master.
Just focus on your life, moving forward, time with your kids and leave me alone
If he continues to undermine you, you may have to resort to setting up a trusted friend or family member as a formal intermediary. Or at a MINIMUM, going completely to a Cozi calendar for all logistics. His bullchit is just pushing your buttons, and setting back your otherwise-exceptional attitude and detachment.
Make sure (absent something ALARMING in there) that you DON'T respond to whatever response you get from your e-mail. You said your peace -- ONCE -- and don't even give him the courtesy of responding to any of his rationalizations for the inappropriate behavior. If you do, it will quickly teach him that he can use the "kids button" to lure you in.
You are right Starsky, I totally agree. I have been doing too well to let him do this now. It truly makes me shake my head and wonder most days. I don't know this person at all.
This is the response I just got and from here on out, I will use Cozi or an intermediary
I removed all our non-mutual friends. And I will not use Reggie's login again.
However if I want to ask my son to help around my house, I will.
They are men, it shouldn't look as bad as it does or need a landscaper but if you want to spend your money that way it's your call.
I just want the house to look as it did while I lived there until it's out of my name, at that point I won't have any input. Hopefully that happens very soon.
Make sure (absent something ALARMING in there) that you DON'T respond to whatever response you get from your e-mail. You said your peace -- ONCE -- and don't even give him the courtesy of responding to any of his rationalizations for the inappropriate behavior. If you do, it will quickly teach him that he can use the "kids button" to lure you in.
