Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Thank LITB! You too! And thanks dbmod for all of your support over the months (years... yikes!).
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I am just glad you started a new thread. I was a little concerned I might have to pay out the bet that the last one wasn't going to be the last one...
Sounds good for you, Denver. Your summary sounded a bit compressed and maybe given the time line your sitch has been, it is a bit fast.
I hope that neither of you will miss any of the work that you both have to do... together... to piece and make this, round two, the M that you both want and deserve.
Congratulations - and thanks for sharing the success story for those of us who can use all the hope we can get!
Me: 36 Her: 35 Together 7/09 Married 8/7/10 Separate rooms since at least April 11 "I've decided I want a divorce" 12/5/11 She moves out of state/files 2/7/12 Dissolution final 5/12
my "fav co counsel" and uber articulate friend, I'm SO pleased you have reconciled AND posted to us!
You are right, the hard part is coming now. IT's sometimes plodding.
PLEASE see about attending Retrovaille. True, I am a believer, but you would not have to be, to get a lot out of their program. (Some folks fear that it's too religious but I did not get that at all. YES- they do discuss forming a spiritual connection but that doesn't seem as if it would bother you).
Retrovaille is so very good for Piecing b/c you DO need some new tools for a new stage and to keep on choosing forgiveness.
and b/c life throws curve balls at us a lot and keeps on doing that. (We were barely into piecing when my MIL got a terminal diagnosis)
I think it's a well timed experience if you can get to one soon. Like in the next few months. Their follow up program is excellent as well.
Originally Posted By: Kaffe Diem
I am just glad you started a new thread. I was a little concerned I might have to pay out the bet that the last one wasn't going to be the last one...
Sounds good for you, Denver. Your summary sounded a bit compressed and maybe given the time line your sitch has been, it is a bit fast.
I hope that neither of you will miss any of the work that you both have to do... together... to piece and make this, round two, the M that you both want and deserve.
Cheers!
I too got a "compressed" sense but I don't want to negate the process you have been through.
When I think of 9lives, and the discussions we all were having last year, (God, was it last year or the year before??)
I can see what a long road it has been for you.
But build on this...and let it build so that a "big fight" does not end all this work.
Go get the tools my friend. Don't you both deserve it?
Oh, and how is SS handling all this?
-----I'm so very glad you posted....
(((( ))))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
This is great news. It's sad that it takes playing the Ultimate Hole Card to get their attention (been there; done that), but there's zero doubt that it works.
Time to move to Piecing, buddy. You've earned it, and you'll get more specific advice there for this stage you are in. I can tell you, from experience, that as hard as this has been (and you have been through a LOT), Piecing is 5x more difficult. Not only that, the things that need to be done to be successful in affair- and divorce-busting are often diametrically opposed to what's needed in Piecing.
The good news? I think your skillset will actually be more tuned to Piecing than to affair-busting.
God bless, and VERY happy for you!!!
Starsky
Thanks Starsky. The ultimate hole card seems to have worked here. I thought about playing it many times during the 18+ months of my sitch. However, and I mean this as a warning to others, I think that you have to be completely willing to accept that it won't work and be completely willing to follow through, once you do really play that card.
Agree 1,000%. It can't merely be a gambit, or a tactic.
And thank you for following my story and for all of your advice Starsky. We haven't always agreed, but you always gave me a different perspective to consider. I think that sometimes you were right, and other times that you were wrong. But you always cared. And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Denver
No doubt -- just like in my life, and in my marriage. If both of us agreed 100%, one of us wouldn't need to be here.
