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Friend IS lost. She just managed to wangle her way back into my W!!!!



Screwy is exactly the correct word. I'm not and never have hoped that anyone else would persuade my W to "return".



I'm certainly not going to avoid the friend but I'm going to make it crystal clear to her that I have her figured out. Short to the point. I'm actually becoming more detached by the day. Strange but true.



Done and done.



I'm sure you'll find exactly that in this reply.



Humility - how can I reply to your post and be humble at the same time? Just being honest zig. And the mirror? Now that's something I've been doing for three weeks. The reflection is getting deeper! My apologies if some (all?) of my posts can be construed as being flippant. They're certainly not meant to be. I can recognize the diametric opposites between "going off my head" and trying to put a normal face on things. I'm nowhere near as bad, in real life, as these posts suggest - these are the only ways of letting off steam.



Don't need to zig. The W has stayed out of HER way since Friday (and counting - actually I'm not)



Thanks for you advice zig. Done and done.



It's the W that's on one.



Quite a problem - small "village" in the suburbs. I am managing to see friends. And I am managing to visit the watering hole when the "two" aren't there.



Thanks zig. I'm actually feeling fine(ish) but getting there. Sorry you have to follow my ups and downs. I'll endeavor to make the ups more often.



Got my finger firmly on the pulse. When you do post it's highly appreciated!

These posts as said, are a snapshot and shouldn't be viewed as everything that's happening in my, and my W's life. I'd love to share one last thing which is an eye opener - nothing "rude" but so surprising that my W used to do and is doing again!

Yay!!!!!

((((((One and all)))))

Mac

love your answers mac - you're on it!!! gave me a good laugh there!!!

Sorry you have to follow my ups and downs. I'll endeavor to make the ups more often.

that ^^^^ is NOT what i meant. i love to follow your ups and downs, and i i love that others follow mine - it's okay to have them - we're just keeping each other on track, ok?

of course your endeavoring to keeps the ups more often = DB'ing, so you're doing it for yourself not anyone else., right?

abou the friend - you say you're going to make it crystal clear? in words? or in actions?

the second maybe a better way - words just pull you into stuff and get misconstrued, passed on etc etc. now actions - that's practicing on the snake in preparation for practicing on the wife (not implying wife is a snake, just saying db'ing is about actions, and us using every opportunity to use action instead of words is a good way to go...)

glad to hear you sounding better, mac

and about the last - are you saying (to be blunt!!) that you two are intimate again?

i hope that's what you're saying! way to go!!

remember no expectations ....

zig

Ah zig. Thanks for not branding me as flippant (for once :-) happy to be of service.

So we're both yo-yo's? Doesn't bear thinking about.

Spot on with the DB'ing. It's all for me but if someone else picks up on the changes who am I to argue.

The friend is going to find out exactly what I think of her renewed shananigans - in actions. I think a good dose of crossed arms with feet apart should do nicely.

zig - feeling as though the climb is doing me the world of good. That's not to say I want to keep up the same level of effort for the rest of my life. And before someone says something - it IS something that I want to keep going. Ever upwards.

And finally to the "rude" bit. No intimacy yet BUT after the other night where the bedroom door was open while the W showered. This time the main bathroom door was open when she went for a "pee". Doesn't sound very nice but it just shows you how the W has always been relaxed about this sort of thing!

Sorry to disappoint but……… and it'll happen for the right reasons.

W just texted me to say she's on the way to Ma early in the morning. I'm hoping this is yet another repeat of her working things out like last time.

We'll see.

Have a great day one and all!!!!

Mac

Today's news :-

Accident court case delayed yet again until 8th August

W driven to mums house - in her car and without friend (YAY!!)

Hope alls well with you.

Mac

People I have a BIG problem.

I went to the local watering hole for a gong home beer. The friend was outside and I overheard some derogatory statements about my W and I.

Managed to keep my lips sealed - who wants a rampaging Mac in the bar!
Left via the restaurant exit. But at least it's now been confirmed as to MY decision about the friend.

Do I tell the W? It's giving my brain a good working out trying to decide!

Advice would be gratefully accepted.

Mac

This is your friend, or your wife's friend?

What would be the point of passing along the comments to your wife?

What would be the point of NOT passing them along?


Starsky

Stop talking to the friend.

Hi Starsky

It's the "friend" who has the sideline in poop-stirring. No friend of mine.

I split the decision into two - told her that the watering hole had temporarily become a stand in for Parliament. Know what I mean? Lots of talk and depending on who you listen too it's either right or utter rot.

I understand your questions though

Passing along (undiluted) would be wrong as it would show ME up as the bad guy.

Not passing them along would just delay the inevitable - my W (who is NO fool) would work out (again) that things are not well in the friends head (or life for that matter).

It really should have been answer 2. Slipped slightly. Sorry to you, to me and most importantly my W.

I'll practice waiting before jumping in!

Mac

cb - I'm not. Promise. But the volume of her voice carrying in from the beer garden into the bar is hard to ignore.

Mac

Perhaps its time to cut out the local and get into some healthy habits.