I don't knnow who else might care..... But I got to workout at the gym with the President of the United States Friday morming. Right beside him for about 20 minutes. I didn't talk, just one nod when he first walked up to the area where I was working. Fun.
ope all is well with you. My H seems to be having a moment of clarity. I will keep up my work and see if it lasts.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Went hiking today w/ my dog & 20 people that I met through meetup.com. Working on GAL, great site that connects you to other people with similar interests.... Whether it's another language, yoga, movies. W had dinner with me ( and the Boys). No R talk, she asked for advice about her job & PHD ...all good, had a nice time. She will meet us at the gym later. Baby steps I guess... She looks so good. I miss her . One day at a time, try not to back slide & hopefully 2012 is a happy year with a happy ending.
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Hi W. That's awesome I bet the Secret Service were everywhere. Great news about your H. My new strategy... I visualize myself in quicksand when my W frustrates me... Just stop struggling & go with it: )
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Indeed, Secret Service was everywhere. Was in the gym again today with him. The guy with the phone/backpack sat down right by me. I was as impressed with seeing that as I was the President. He does a pretty intense free weight routine.
I like the quicksand reference. I will remember that one!
H and I are getting along right now. But I still need to give him space. Not giving up my GAL stuff.
My son had told me yesterday about meetup.com and had suggested I find some people to do something with.
It can't go wrong with hiking and a dog!
Hang in there, Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
But I got to workout at the gym with the President of the United States Friday morming. Right beside him for about 20 minutes. I didn't talk, just one nod when he first walked up to the area where I was working. Fun.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Journaling, rambling ...Hmmm My sitch has me confused. My W moved out ( 2 miles away), I'm in the house with my two boys. I see her everyday... She stops by to have coffee, see the kids, help clean or do laundry. W even offered to help out & drive me around when my car was in the shop & she meets us at the gym nearly everyday. Oh ya...she is even hosting a "welcome home/ 12th night of Christmas" party for me at our house Friday night. Yup...She still talks about D, met with a L. No paperwork put together yet...but I'm sure its still coming. We have nice conversations, when I'm not back-sliding and mentioning the R I'm really trying. I've been back for two weeks & have had three IC appts, GAL'ing like crazy, & my W and kids have noticed that I'm way more even-tempered, patient, optimistic and out-going. I was working on some of that stuff while still deployed...but now that I'm home, I'm focused 100% on being a better ME. Some days are better than others. The uncertainty scares the &%(#@ out of me though. I'm not fighting my W on the D.... I told her that I won't stand in her way if she wants to leave, that I would prefer to work it out and have a better, new R. Said that once or twice... won't bring it up again. I told her that I'll sign & agree to anything reasonable- just put it together. I won't help her with the paperwork though...it would be like building my own gallows. I imagine that I'm in quick-sand, stop struggling & I might survive this mess. Patience...I know...it is so hard, I know it will take time, but I love her so much. Seeing her as often as I do makes it so painful - I just want to hold her. I'm working on validating & respecting her more. When times were really tough, I had a short fuse, would say hurtful things. I was never, nor would I ever be physical ... but I'm kinda big, she is petit & it frightened her. I was wrong and I'll never return to that immature mind-frame again. I've made such improvements- just want her to feel safe, validated & repected always. Its a long road, but I've begun the journey and won't look back. My quotes for the day; "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be" -Lao Tzu "faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."-Martin Luther King
(F.K.A. Broken422)
US 40's M 17,T 19 2 BOYS 13,16 Divorced 4/2012 11/2011 W SAID SHE WANTS D
"When it is dark enough,you can see the stars"- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I'm really trying. I've been back for two weeks & have had three IC appts, GAL'ing like crazy, & my W and kids have noticed that I'm way more even-tempered, patient, optimistic and out-going. I was working on some of that stuff while still deployed...but now that I'm home, I'm focused 100% on being a better ME. Some days are better than others. The uncertainty scares the &%(#@ out of me though. I'm not fighting my W on the D.... I told her that I won't stand in her way if she wants to leave, that I would prefer to work it out and have a better, new R. Said that once or twice... won't bring it up again. I told her that I'll sign & agree to anything reasonable- just put it together. I won't help her with the paperwork though...it would be like building my own gallows. I imagine that I'm in quick-sand, stop struggling & I might survive this mess. Patience...I know...it is so hard, I know it will take time, but I love her so much. Seeing her as often as I do makes it so painful - I just want to hold her. I'm working on validating & respecting her more. When times were really tough, I had a short fuse, would say hurtful things. I was never, nor would I ever be physical ... but I'm kinda big, she is petit & it frightened her. I was wrong and I'll never return to that immature mind-frame again. I've made such improvements- just want her to feel safe, validated & repected always. Its a long road, but I've begun the journey and won't look back. My quotes for the day; "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be" -Lao Tzu "faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."-Martin Luther King