This morning H playfully hit my shoulder with a piece of mail and make a popping sound. I said, What was that? And he repeated the motion and sound as he walked away.
Then he waited around until I was going to yoga to leave for his coffee shop. I asked him if he was waiting for me, and he said yes, I said he could leave, he said he didn't mind waiting, so we ended up walking over there together. He talked about his day yesterday. I responded with "Hmm" and "mmhmm" mostly. He asked about my upcoming trip and offered to drive me to the airport. I said, no thanks, I'll just take a cab.
He tweeted the link to an article or something directly at me this morning (why not just email me?). I haven't looked at it yet.
I saw he has some moving boxes tucked away in the basement.
Ugh. A few more days and I'll be out of the house again...
i don't know vera...your H has me totally confused. it really seems as if he's pursuing YOU. the dishwasher, the cooking together. i really don't know what to make of him.
i am in total awe of how you handle all this!
M:63 H:53 S:41, SS:28, SS:25, SD:23 M:15 T:16
Bomb:12/17/11, "I think we should go our separate ways." H moves to his mother's house, 4/1/12 12/21/12: H moves back home, piecing
Thanks silly. I think H needs to end up in DB bootcamp or have a stern talking-to from someone.
Updating yesterday's update: 4 months ago: me: I think we should use the tax refund to get a new dishwasher. H: okay, sounds good.
3 months ago: me: I think we should use the tax refund to get a new dishwasher. H: I don't think we should spend money on that, leave it, we're going to sell the house anyway.
Yesterday: H: I think we should get a new dishwasher. me: Why do you think that? H: Because this one is gross. I know you've been working hard to try to keep it clean but something is wrong with it and we should just get a new one. me: well we had saved part of the tax refund to pay for a new dishwasher. H: okay, great!
Today: (as I'm trying to figure out how to remove the filter to clean it - turns out it is not possible on this model) H: We could go look for a new dishwasher later today. me: I don't really feel like spending money on a dishwasher right now. H: (left the room)
10 minutes after that he comes in the kitchen and sees that I'm eating cookie dough I made that had been in the fridge. He did the most incredibly whiny voice and said "Awwww, I didn't know there was cookie dough in the fridge!" Apparently he's 5!
I'm experimenting with being even less warm than I had been. More matter-of-fact without being cold. We'll see how this goes.
While perusing my alumni magazine I came across the ads for the alumni group travel itineraries for this year and next year. What an easy way for me to face some of my "traveling alone" fears - with a group of people with whom I have at least one thing in common! Pondering how I can find the budget to do at least 2 of these next year...
It's kind of a cherished recipe, but I'll think about it, bug
Tonight I took over the living room TV again while H was banished to another room. After I was done watching (but still working on the blanket) H came down and said he was going to bed soon - i.e. sleeping in the living room because the guest room is too hot. I ended up sauteing some chicken for my lunch tomorrow around the time he initially said he wanted to get to bed and snapped at me about how long would it take to cook?? I responded - not too long - in an even tone. But geez, you're the one a) not sleeping in the main bedroom because you want a D and b) sleeping in the living room because your appointed quarters are "too hot" and c) getting mad at me for using common areas of the house at a reasonable time in the evening?
I have a confession . . . I feel like there isn't any hope left in my situation. H is stubborn, stubborn, proud and stubborn. He makes a decision, and he sticks with it. I know that I have been standing here for mere seconds compared to other folks but when I think about what is best for me I'm not convinced that standing is the right thing anymore. All I see is a naive, judgmental, self-righteous man who needs serious, serious help and can't or won't see how to get it or even admit that he needs it. I feel like that's a weight that I'm not really interested in trying to help him carry as a team anymore. I see a lot of things that I want in the future and I can't get them while I'm standing here.
No big decisions tonight... just ruminating (for a finite period of time) but staying still and not doing anything with these thoughts for now.
In a few days I should finally have some time to catch up on everyone else's threads! I'm so woefully behind!
or have a stern talking-to from someone.