Feeling good tonight. My session went well with the T. I feel like he's going to be a good fit for us. I told him all of my concerns and what I was really looking for by going to therapy and he was very much on the same page. I told him that I wasn't interested in doing couples therapy until H was able to fully commit to me and cut off his R with OW. He said he was going to mention doing separate sessions tonight but I had beat him to the punch. He was impressed at how much direction and thought I had already put into this.
I feel like I'm pretty on top of this. I can't even imagine where I'd be if it weren't for these forums. Everyone's advice has been incredibly helpful and I feel like I'm ahead of the game in a way.
When my session was over I scheduled a session for H next week. Then I texted H to see if he was willing to go alone and his response was "I most certainly will."
It brought a smile to my face. I like that he's being so willing to take this on with me. It shows that he's trying and that's all I can ask right now.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
Jks that is really wonderful to hear. Am just so happy for you. So inspired by all of your growth. I really have been learning from you. You do seem on top of it and to be honest with you, you bring calm to my hert when I read you.
I hope you have a great day. I plan on hitting the gym again. Maybe one day we can work out together!
((( )))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
jks, I woke up somewhat early & refreshed & I wanted to see how you were doing; how your session with your T went.
When I read how well it went and what your H said, you said it brought a smile to your face--well, it brought tears to my eyes.
Not like each little step forward is solving the whole equation, but we are moving! And moving forward!
How wonderful that H sounds eager to work on his own issues.
You are doing great! You are working through these issues. I have a lot of respect for you. You are a remarkable woman!!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Busting, yes, it would be so fun to work out together... I'm so glad you're doing it more. I hope it's making you feel better!
RH, my plans for the 4th turned out to be the funnest thing ever. My new friend invited me to go out of town with her and her H's family. His family is from a small little town about 2 1/2 hours away from where I live. They own a farm that has a huge barn on it with tons of fun things for the kids to do. 4 wheeling, playing with the ducks, old fashioned teeter-totter (my kids were obsessed with this), sand box, and tons of kids for them to play with. They basically spent all day just getting dirty and doing what little kids should be doing. It was heaven.
On the morning of the 4th, his family owns a huge Wagon that they use to drive through the city parade. They had bandana's and cowboy hats and sheriffs pins for all of the kids to dress up in. My kids were so excited to be "in" the parade and throw out candy to everyone. It was awesome to see their excitement.
I sent H a picture of the three of them in their get-ups sitting in the wagon. He loved it. I did actually text with H quite a bit that day. We were both friendly and it was a little like back how we used to be. I can only imagine that he was probably pretty sad to be missing out on so much fun. And I'm not gonna lie... we had a ton of fun.
I met a lot of amazing people over this little getaway. Such a great family that I got to spend time with and I felt so blessed to be a part of their celebrations. Everyone absolutely adored my kids and made them feel so welcome. They kept telling us that we needed to come back soon.
GAL is important, my friends, I was never sad about not having H there. I just felt like life goes on. He is missing out.
Detachment... I am finally getting it.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
25, I don't know if you're still reading but I did want to talk to you more about the neglecting and rejecting comment you made on my previous thread... do you remember? You stated that I still SEEM to excuse it??
This is something I really want to address and figure out...
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
Also, I think if you read this past post of yours you will see a pattern in your choices. You were sort of benignly neglecting and downright rejecting him in some areas but you still SEEM to excuse it.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
