I don't have much to add, just wanted to say that you're doing well. Thanks for continuing to post.
Me: 32 H: 32 M 9 yrs #1 D7 #2 S5 #3 D2 Bomb 8/12/11 H moved out 8/14/11 PA started w/H & OW in 1/12 - found out 3/24/12 Got my own place 8/25/12 H & OW move in together 9/15/12 Still married.
H left Saturday morning to go down to his dad’s. We talked a few times throughout the day and night. Everything went great, and they had a good talk, even though it was hard and exhausting (H’s words when I talked to him that night). He seemed upbeat about it and happy that they were spending time together. He said he hasn’t seen his dad this happy in a long time.
I did some cleaning and shopping on Saturday, along with some cooking in prepare for Father’s Day dinner. I will admit it was nice to have a day to myself. Especially after playing Nurse Betty during H’s recovery. So a break for me! YAY!
H came home yesterday and was barely able to keep his eyes open. He said the weekend was great but wore him out emotionally. We also found out that one of SS friends got killed at a party on Saturday night, that SS was also at. So we’ve been trying to comfort him from afar. It’s been hard though.
I had planned an indoor picnic for H’s Father’s Day dinner, but his knees were bothering him, so we ate at the dining room table. We haven’t eaten at the table together since before the bomb drop (outside of eating out somewhere a few times). He even held my hand while we said grace. That hasn’t happened since the day he dropped the bomb!
I haven’t asked too many questions about his talk with his dad. He’s told me a few things, and it sounds like they are really going to be okay. I’m glad. I thought about it this weekend, and I was being so selfish worrying about how all of this was going to be affecting me instead of being happy his dad wants to be back in his life. As fig pointed out, I don’t know what his dad will say about our sitch, if H tells him. I still need to be focused on being the best me I can be.
H said thank you several times for dinner (with homemade sangria) and his gift (NFL tickets). I actually went into this one with no expectations. Who would have thought it possible? LOL
Overall, I think the weekend was great. Now back to your regularly scheduled programs.
H slept in his wedding ring last night. I'm pointing this out because he did this all the time before the bomb drop. He almost never took it off, and would remind me to put mine on if we were leaving the house and I didn't have mine on. Once I found out about his A, he would wear it out of the house, but by the time he got home from work, it would be in his work bag ("because he washed his hands on the way out of the building"). And he wouldn't put it back on until the next day.
I know it probably means nothing, and may not happen again today or any other day. I have no expectations that it will. Just an observation...
Another first for me today...I normally text my SS to check-in, say hello, etc. He's leaving for an ATL trip with his friends, and I called him to say have fun, be safe, don't get arrested, etc...LOL Before the bomb, I would have just asked H if he had talked to him and I MIGHT have texted SS myself.
SS toured an art school this week, and I kept asking H if he had talked to him to see how it went. H kept saying he hadn't talked to him. He did call and leave SS a message once I think. So I asked SS how it went. (That's a WHOLE other post. LOL) SS even thanked me for calling him. Why have I not been showing this great kid of mine that I loved him all along? SMH
*For those just joining this program already in progress - This is one of the things that bothered H, that we have argued about in the past. It's also the main thing he was holding against me that I didn't know about.*
I asked H if he wanted to go see a movie tonight on my way out the door this morning. His response, "You know I'm always up for a movie." I did have a twinge of "That's your response?" But I reigned myself in with a quick NO EXPECATIONS stop sign. He's supposed to pick the movie. So we'll say. Maybe a real date night happening tonight!
Ended up not watching the movie after all. H was tired and didn't want to go out. He started searching OnDemand, but never really found anything. He walked out of the room, and the next thing I know he's in bed. It was 8pm. I ended up going to get dinner and watching a movie by myself. I was pissed I will admit, because I was looking forward to it, but I worked through my expectations of people actually doing what they say, and was okay by the time I went to bed. I did mention it to him Saturday though, and he apologized saying he was just so worn out. Told him it would have been nice for let me know that he was going to bed. LOL
Got news that H's aunt passed away yesterday morning. I had to tell him because he wasn't answering MIL's calls. He had absolutely no reaction whatsoever. I think that's because he had already had the meltdown graduation weekend. But with everything that has gone on in the last year, I'm hoping this doesn't push him over the edge into depression. He hasn't told SS yet (he's in ATL with friends), so I'm not sure how that's going to go.
Told him I was here if he wanted to talk, and gave him a few hugs and kisses last night and this morning. He even cooked dinner last night. He said it would help him keep his mind off of things. I told him I appreciated it, and told him thank you again in my text message this morning.
So still trucking. Was feeling out of sorts yesterday about everything, but went to church and got some words of comfort. Going to just keep doing what I've been doing I guess. I feel like there's a lesson in all this, but I haven't quite gotten it yet...like I keep missing it or something. *shrug* Gotta keep pressing on...until I find the answer.
You do sound good Ro - you seem to have more inner strength than before.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
You do sound good Ro - you seem to have more inner strength than before.
I feel like I have gained strength from somewhere - most of the time. I'm learning so much about myself. Things I never knew or knew but hid. SMH Learning to appreciate who my authentic self is can be scary. But the benefits outweigh the fear.
