Oh and the $1,000 she's pulled out of thin air - fat chance considering I've ended up, after paying all the bills, with a grand total of $5 to last until Thursday! More than happy to go over the finances with her L!!
The changes? I have no idea. How do you work harder? How do you go out more? It was, and still is a mystery to me. I honestly feel it's the changes that are being "projected" onto me by the W. I've never been able to get a straight answer out of my W as to what changed. What was better. And now my W isn't even interested in talking. Because I'll catch her out?
I must admit I did change - dug myself out of my hole of misery after the bombshell. Dusted myself off. Made myself nice (and smell even better). Did not avoid anywhere where I thought the W would be. In fact I made an effort to make my old haunts mine again. Spoke to my friends, did my things. And come to think of it (just now) became who my W first met! But time has marched on and the old ways have slipped away. Boy do I have some work to do!
And a top-up to the sitch now I've had some breathing space.
My W has always been employed - self-employed working with her Pa in fruit export. Something that was stressful and she was very good at it. The company folded which hit her hard. A new job presented itself - something different - handling copier rental's. Again she was very good at it. She got home at night and the pair of us would just relax together. We'd cook together. We'd do everything together.
Again the company closed it's doors and my W ended up at home. Which became a prison. Jobs presented themselves but never evolved into employment
My W has always wanted a child. But wanted (needed?) a job as well. Something she could return to after maternity leave.
So here we are now...
W in prison all day No child No job
And no me?
Now who's depressed??
I've told her that she doesn't need a job, that she can be a mother - I just don't think she believes me anymore.
So? Run away? At 36 find a nice shiny new husband who will give her what she wants?
good for you - and hey = don't forget the most important thing - SLEEP!
i was wondering when you were posting this morning - were you up half the night? on the other side of the world, there -or have i got my time zones all wrong?
here's the deal mac - you don't sleep properly after a head injury - and it will mess you up bad over time. don't let this sitch with your wife allow that to happen - get the best quality sleep you can each and everyday. i KNOW this from my own accident.
if you have any trouble sleeping - get help for it - the best thing that helped me was hypnotherapy - i know , unconventional but a lot better than taking drugs etc.
take care zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
Hi zig - I'm WAY round the other side of the planet. It's now 11:15 pm and I'm ready for some serious zzzzz's.
Please don't worry about my head or sleep - although I know what you're getting at. Thankfully I'm doing really well. Much better than expected. My lifesaver neurosurgeon actually did a talk about me the other day. His colleagues thought I was a vegetable!!!!!!! Ha!!!!! They build 'em tough in the U.K. (Moved here 20+ years ago).
Mutual friend left after hitting me with lots of 2 x 4's. she can't see any way out of this sitch. Can't agree with her. She's going to act as a kind shoulder to cry on in my place. I hope that's all she's going to do - just listen and not judge.
Tomorrow is another day. One more away from the l letter bomb! Friend thanks this must have been done way last week. Hopefully W may have calmed down a bit since then.
glad to hear the head and seep thing is under control, mac. i just worried because i know that emotional stress can make it really difficult.
that's amazing about your recovery - see, there's a positive thing to focus on - a lot of people rent so lucky. you're covered, no matter which way this goes.
didn't quite understand the mutual friends' position - is she coming to talk to you or to your wife?
and you're right - it's amazing how other people seem to "know" watt's going o happen and predict the worst. well, that's because they don't know the power of our secrets here on the db board (grin)
start defacing and working on your 180's and setting some goals and you'll at least start to feel you're on the right track
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
got that KD - for a minute, there i had no idea what you were talking about - then i remembered the typos - thanks for the giggle, but i'll have you know that this is one of the things left over from the accident - my fingers get the letters changed around - sort of like finger-dyslexia.
add my brilliant self-correcting editor on my mac and that's how i get these brilliant word combos!!!
sorry mac - kd and i are having a week of hijacking all over these boards. we are very naughty, indeed.
i think i meant detaching there, in that last sentence
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
Hi you two! I've been taking a look around the boards and you're just about everywhere.
zig - I know exactly what you mean about the mac spolonking checker - I'm an Apple tech (hence my handle :-). Lesson 1 - always read before you send
Both - to clarify - the "mutual friend" is just that - no code involved. And she did come round last night and boy did I get hit by a ton of 2 x 4's.
I've actually been a complete and utter SOB over the past two years - no excuses. Apparently I used to return home, park the motorcycle, walk in with stooped shoulders, peck the wife on the cheek, ignore others who were there at the time (my only defence - I would have loved some quality time with the W - was never to be - can't use this as any defence with either friend or friend - bummer 'cos that's how I felt - always sharing all the damn time).
W always asked me how work had gone - I never shared (why should I with others present?)
I never asked W how hers had gone - what a REAL bummer - guilty in the first degree.
W apparently stopped wearing her rings end of last year - just after accident when I was at my worst.
Friend was really surprised at what W had done and didn't see any way out of it. She was hurt because she would have expected W to discuss first.
Today - crappy morning but managed to put a false smile on my face and help a few folks out. Got home early and apologised to W for past faults (and they were BIGGIES). Funny but there wasn't any hysterics which is what I was expecting.
Helped W with getting her CV away to people. Got a big thank you for that (after retyping most of it).
W gone out with friend to return some cloths to a store - W asked friend earlier is she wanted to discuss this lot! Lets see if our mutual mediator can make any more sense out of the sitch. Friend has the belief that the W went to the L over a week ago. I've been a very good boy since then - and I didn't know at the time she'd gone.
Can people change? Will W believe me? I have the strongest of feelings that this time at the end of recovery this will happen! With the recovery I've been regaining what I'd lost in the past. I hope to heck it'll stick this time - hoping the thump to the noggin has cleared all the bad cobwebs away. Hoping that my W will believe me.
OH - AND I helped the friend pair her blackberry ear-set to her iPhone (in front of W) Round of applause and laughter from both
