Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis thinking on new life w/o X

X sounds miserable. New Woman is having some serious problems and I am not sure how much longer she will be around. X is at the hospital almost constantly.

He has agreed to slightly change his schedule for D. Just when I think he's making some progress in approaching D, he has an emergency with New Woman.

Every now and then I still get flashes of resentment towards X. Today is one of those days. I wish i could come to terms with this anger.

ML, I'm sure X will find another girlfriend as quickly as possible after New Woman passes. But the thing is, she and OW will probably be the fantasy women of fantasy Lives That Could Have Been.

As far as Forward? Just disposable and annoying.

Forward, I think you are focusing way too much energy on this man. I know that you long for a heartfelt apology from him, and perhaps him pursuing you in an attempt to rectify things. I'm afraid the reality of things is, he will keep moving on with his life. You are part of his past and I think that is where you need to put him.

BH, I was just having a hard day for some reason. Generally I am doing quite well and he is in my past.

But it's hard to not feel resentful at times.

X makes less of a fuss about spending time with D. I think he is lonely. And he looks very unhappy.

I have been doing well. New Guy has helped me to grow and I think I have done the same for him. I am happier than I have been for a long time.

Forward, do you see yourself getting married again?

Bh, possibly.

With that said, we have moved slowly and I am glad about that.

I'm happy to report that X seems to be stepping up more and spending more time w/D, and not acting as if every nanosecond with her is a waste of his precious time.

He has setbacks, but for the most part, he is a better parent than he used to be.

Hey Forward, long time no post.

I saw you responded, "possibly", to the question of marriage. I'm about to propose to my significant other of several years and I wanted to share....

We've both known we are each other's "match" for some time but we joke that we have not just baggage but "baggage trains". She has 3 children, I have 2 (yep, Brady Bunch) and we've both been burned, and swore, "never again."

I was going to propose last week when we went cabin camping/canoeing out of state. She sensed I would and started to get nervous. Then we went on a hike that became potentially life-threatening. We didn't know the area well and found ourselves 7 miles in the wilderness with 16oz of water each on a day that reached 105* (long story, dumb moves). Although she's 13 years my junior and regularly matches or surpasses me in stamina, she was the one in the most distress.

Over several hours we worked our way back to safety, her nearly passing out on several occasions. She never stopped perspiring but had a severe headache, tunnelvision and lost her hearing at times. I realized we had to help ourselves as we never saw another person and somehow that kept me together. We were finally able to drink water from a nearby lake (a lot that I fetched two plastic bottles at a time) and make it to a highway, hitching a ride the last couple of miles.

She says that experience removed any reservations she had had about remarrying and knows I'm the one she can trust (literally) with her life. She also said before the trip she had prayed that GOD would do just that. Of course, she never dreamed or desired that experience to do so.

Sleeper,
I'm glad that you are in a happy place at this time. It has been a long run for both of us, eh?

I've continued to come here mostly to see what happens with some of these stories. Your story seemed particularly wrenching because of all the tragedies that led up to things.

I'm curious--what's the story w/your X? Blissful dreaminess as she wanted?

Funny you should ask.....

I try not to think much about what's going on with her but sometimes things happen I can't help but notice. Sometimes she seems like a stranger I've never known. Example she will leave kids alone to go to a "party" with OMH. Truth is she's been doing this since bomb and I never liked it. It's still strange to me as she was (or seemed?) very focused on our kids at one time and has even said the vest years of her life were when the were small. I don't know if it's replay cycling or maybe her bio clock was ringing when we married (she wanted kids immediaty after marriage)
She's joined the faternal order (they now admit women. Of which I've been a member for years. We have recreational activities and a pool and that's why she told DD she joined. Her neighborhood org has a new pool but she told DD it's too crowed. It's strange seeing her there. I told ladyfriend I almost feel like I'm being stalked. She was at a recent event and I often saw her looking our way. Her and OMH hung all over each other so much I was embarassed for them. They acted like kids half their age.