IB, I know that it is often more difficult for the children when they are older and going through this.
And as it was only the three of us, we really felt the absence.
There are times, holidays, birthdays and such, that I get sad for a bit.
But then I remember a couple of things. This was not my doing. That was taken out of my hands. What I knew I really wanted was to be sure that I did the best I could for my son.
And I can look back and say I did. Would I have rathered he had his family intact? Absolutely. Did I do everything I could to have that happen? Absolutely.
Is my son forever changed because of it? Yes, he is.
But, I have become closer to him. He has become even stronger. And we have built a different family. Not better, not worse, just different.
Family does not have to be defined as two parents and children. It's really about people loving and caring about each other.
And my son, as yours, is carving out his own life. And that is the way it is supposed to be.
Your children will be ok, IB. As long as you are. Don't let this define who they are or who you are for that matter.
You must FEEl to HEAL, so feel those feelings and get movin' down the healing path on to your amazing life...
I believe in "soul tribe" more than "soul mate." I have friends who are in my soul tribe and I'm certain we were connected before in another lifetime. My xh and I have an extremely deep connection and will be; probably through eternity. BUT, for this life time I have learned all the lessons I can from him and must move on my path as he must his. YES, sometimes I still grieve and it's okay. We are human beings and we have emotions. What was done to us was not fair, not okay, and not right. But it happened for a reason so we can move on and meet other people who are going to teach us other things. It's difficult to accept, but necessary...
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
