Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums Midlife Crisis Soulmates

*That should have read, I could have written your post myself.

Funny, I get grumpy when I hear the word "soulmates".

I believe there are many people we can choose to fall in love with. Do I believe my STBXH foumd his soulmate thru his and a woman who pretended to be my friends accidental falling in love. Because according to him "It just happened."

Absolute balony. Using that theory the first person I trip over now that I am trying to start dating will be my soulmate, what a horrer story that could turn out being.

IB: I believe there is someone out there who will make the choice to love you and treat you like a princess. Don't think your X was the only one oin the world for you.

And rest assured he loved you before and if he denies it now it is just him rewriting history to make himself feel better!

A MLC'r rewriting history? Say it ain't so...

Couldn't resist as it makes me laugh (now).

AJ

Some very interesting and intelligent thoughts being put forth here. Have I been guilty of using/thinking the term "Soulmate"? Yep. And all the above applies. But I break down that thought today as my X being the person I was closest to in the entire world - until he suddenly wasn't. Do I want that degree of closeness again? Absolutely. Am I ready to lay myself open for that again? Hell no. Welcome to the conundrum.

Hi Punkin. Do you know the answer to the conundrum yet? I suspect you do. If not, you're almost where you can see it

AJ

I've been sensing a pull to move into the MLC threads. Looks like I (sayitaintso) found another sign ^^^^. Thanks AJ

The term can have some meaning, I think, but it's used in such a superficial and glib way that I think it's rightfully derided.

I am quite practical when it comes to love. I think it requires effort for both people to grow. I think people who are talking about "soulmates" are still in the infatuation phase of love.

More random thoughts....

I think I CHOSE to commit myself to my H and thought he was committed in return. Thought we were best of friends and more. So "soulmate" was really CREATED. Choices...

I do not recognize him today. Empty shell, quite honestly. But he appears happy and there is nothing I can do to change what has happened.

Have a week home alone - S is at workouts at college. It actually feels good. I know that I need rest and healing and that will come soon enough. The light at the end of the tunnel is closer than it was. My oldest D's wedding is in 19 days! I am focused on work, the wedding, and getting my son ready to leave. My middle D has moved 4 hours away for a few months to work an internship. She has just gotten into a relationship and she wants me to meet him before she brings him to the wedding. Looks like I will drive up there for the 4th and spend some time with them before the wedding madness.

Not a bad life right now....if only I could win the lottery:)

IB,
Get plenty of rest this week, as it appears that you will be busy in the next few weeks. Your daughter's wedding will be beautiful and be sure to take photos!

As for your xh, the key word is "appears". Nothing is as it seems. Hold that thought okay?

I'm glad your daughter wants you to meet the young man she is involved with. It tells me that you raised her properly and it shows that she has respect for your opinion.

Enjoy your week!

OK - I'm kind of venting - and I apologize in advance...

I am STILL so angry about what was taken from my kids in terms of the true "family" that was in place. My mom is still here for another month and she has been packing up stuff and she has been "shopping" through my things. Many things I have kept that were "ours" (mine and Xs) and I realized that I have kept them because I wanted "things" around that might bring comfort to my son during the last two years. I was trying not to change too much.

Now that I am "transitioning" to a new phase - I am definitely ready to let go of things and such. But I am still harboring anger and I think I always will of what has been taken from my kids. In their mind (and in mine) - we had an awesome family! We were GREAT altogether. Someone said "no one is as good as all of us" - and I think that applies to my situation. I will get through it and over it - but I am still harboring anger and sadness. My oldest is getting married in 18 days and I know that as good as it is - it will still be a little "less" than it could be - because of the loss of what we knew as our family.

Just venting....