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The week ends are all that seem to work for me right now for spending some alone time. And that is like it was for the previous 10 years when I traveled for work.
That is the same time frame that the W mentioned started her thoughts about not being happy( but failed to say anything to me).


M44 / W43
Married 24 / Together 24.5
S12
S7
ILYBNILWY/Bomb: 4-15-2012
Counseling started 5-1-2012
Counseling ended 6-7-2012
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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Is there any way to cut back on your hours? I think your kids need you now and you want to show that you're not an absentee father.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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Originally Posted By: MrBond
Is there any way to cut back on your hours? I think your kids need you now and you want to show that you're not an absentee father.

MrBond,
I can't afford that right now. I don't know how to GAL without moving out.
And money right now is really tight.
Can anyone share some ideas?


M44 / W43
Married 24 / Together 24.5
S12
S7
ILYBNILWY/Bomb: 4-15-2012
Counseling started 5-1-2012
Counseling ended 6-7-2012
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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Go work out, check out free events going on in your community, hang out with your friends. There are alot of things to do.

Are you the only one working? Does your W bring home any income?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 134
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Originally Posted By: MrBond
Go work out, check out free events going on in your community, hang out with your friends. There are alot of things to do.

Are you the only one working? Does your W bring home any income?


I'll look into some events like that. W hasn't brought home any income for the last 8 years.


M44 / W43
Married 24 / Together 24.5
S12
S7
ILYBNILWY/Bomb: 4-15-2012
Counseling started 5-1-2012
Counseling ended 6-7-2012
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 134
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Just Talked with my sister from Iowa and my mom and sister and brother in law and family are visiting this weekend. My prayer for what to do this weekend were answered. S7 is staying home with me as his favorite cousin is coming and we're going to do some fishing.
I can say I've got GAL for the weekend and a great job interview lined up Monday afternoon too.
Big Smile on my face.


M44 / W43
Married 24 / Together 24.5
S12
S7
ILYBNILWY/Bomb: 4-15-2012
Counseling started 5-1-2012
Counseling ended 6-7-2012
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 134
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I just thought I'd share some more info.
This past Christmas MIL got us both new iPhones and since then W seems to be addicted to it. I mean to the point she always has it in her hand and guards it with her life.
To me this looks very unhealthy


M44 / W43
Married 24 / Together 24.5
S12
S7
ILYBNILWY/Bomb: 4-15-2012
Counseling started 5-1-2012
Counseling ended 6-7-2012
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 134
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Originally Posted By: MrD
I just thought I'd share some more info.
This past Christmas MIL got us both new iPhones and since then W seems to be addicted to it. I mean to the point she always has it in her hand and guards it with her life.
To me this looks very unhealthy

I've heard many times from her friends that comment about her excessive smart phone usage also.


M44 / W43
Married 24 / Together 24.5
S12
S7
ILYBNILWY/Bomb: 4-15-2012
Counseling started 5-1-2012
Counseling ended 6-7-2012
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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Stop focusing on her. Psychologically the phone is like a woman's bag. If she feels safe with a guy, she'll let him hold her bag or phone because she has nothing to hide. It's like a security blanket. Right now it's what she's leaning on because it's her tie to "unreality" and the other man.

Look for the free legal advice and see what your options are. You are the one who should be calling the shots because you bring home the bacon. She might be using the phone, but you control how it's being paid. If she's using it to contact the OM, then cut off the service. If your money is going towards your MIL, take it away and use it to get your own place away. Let your MIL deal with her D. There are things you need to do to get your control back.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 134
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Originally Posted By: MrBond
Stop focusing on her. Psychologically the phone is like a woman's bag. If she feels safe with a guy, she'll let him hold her bag or phone because she has nothing to hide. It's like a security blanket. Right now it's what she's leaning on because it's her tie to "unreality" and the other man.

Look for the free legal advice and see what your options are. You are the one who should be calling the shots because you bring home the bacon. She might be using the phone, but you control how it's being paid. If she's using it to contact the OM, then cut off the service. If your money is going towards your MIL, take it away and use it to get your own place away. Let your MIL deal with her D. There are things you need to do to get your control back.

You are so right, I'm working on delivering my own bomb here soon. I'm lining up things for a new life but don't want give her a heads up.
A couple of things I need to figure out is how I can take care of S12 and S7(new job possibility has 10-20% travel), and I don't know how to interact with the MIL with me moving on after her involvment with our finances(spending alot of money getting us caught back up).
I also need to ask W if she wants a seperation or just go ahead w/the big D.


M44 / W43
Married 24 / Together 24.5
S12
S7
ILYBNILWY/Bomb: 4-15-2012
Counseling started 5-1-2012
Counseling ended 6-7-2012
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