HP - I agree with Accuray that your response was spot-on.
Since you told him he could go file if he wants to, are you comfortable pushing back your own internal deadline? On one hand, when you are done with this situation is your decision. On the other hand, he was basically baiting you into filing, and you said that he should handle it - do you see a problem then if you ultimately file before he does? No right answers here, just some questions.
I think it's generally good to make the WAS do all the work to end the marriage. The "piece of paper" that results at the end of the D process doesn't necessarily need to be tied to HopingAndPraying's timeline. She can move forward with her life and stop trying to put her marriage back together whenever she wants, and STILL let H file and do all the work.
I would think the only time it's going to become an issue is if she wants to get married again and he still hasn't filed.
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
I hear ya, Accuray. I posed the questions about her "timeline" because she specifically had deadline to decide whether she, personally, would take the step to file for D. I'm in a similar boat (making WAH do all the work) except that my H has already filed for D and had me served.
