mrbond--(For one thing, I'm not sure where you see that I called into question your manhood. I was just making general comments to inspire you and they weren't mean to insult.) --What are you 4 years old? A woman wants to know that she is missed by her man. A hug wouldn't have killed you. Plus, here AGAIN she is telling you what's wrong but you're not LISTENING. --Men don't try. They do. mrbond--I mentioned earlier that it seems like you had a problem communicating with your W. I can kind of see that. I think you should actually read the posts carefully before responding back to people.
from me"basically communication completely got shut down. I do not know how this happened."
People I know I did wrong in my marriage. I accept it. I am getting better. She does things for me now that she wouldn't two months ago. I understand fully the things I did or said. This is going to take time. Thank you. I do appreciate the comments.
If you actually spent a few minutes and looked at my SITCH, I absolutely referenced you before you even posted.( before you showed up on this SITCH) I specifically said you have some great ideas about things. I said if mrbond was to comment he would say patience.
Then you show up rip apart my stuff. OH ok I mean give me some incentive to be more of a DB er. My god even the other day i said nothing new, but since you have nothing better to do than to post, you felt the need to start something. My god. I am trying but it takes time.
Actually I did read your whole sitch before I ever posted. Yes I did see my name listed. What you fail to understand is that everyone's sitch is different and the advice is different.
Again, read through the posts and try to understand them rather than getting offended.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I-Care, I struggled with the 180's, but like you, I struggled more so with the no contact. Then it was like a switch went off for me. I realized what everyone was telling me was true. HE was asking for space and I was crushing him with too much attention.
So rather than call/email multiple times, I may go 3 days IF I email him. I see H when he comes over for S, but don't engage in personal conversations every time. Sometimes it's just "Oh hey H!" and then I get on my merry way. I don't always pick up the phone, and I don't text.
H has taken notice of this. He is paying attention to the times when I do talk.
Think of it being more mysterious and that seems to work a bit. Also when you GAL, you get more excited about life, and that in a weird way is always attractive to anyone, but most importantly, it does you good to get out and keep yourself busy.
But long story short, the no contact will get easier for you, but you have to make a effort to do it. I sent myself an email that said "Do not call, do not email" as the header, so everytime I open my email to 'write' a manifesto of feelings to H, I don't. Or if I feel like I need to get something out, I come here, or send an email to myself. It does seem counter-intuitive, but your spouse does NOT want to hear about everything they are doing wrong, or what you will do to 'fix' it. I am a fixer too. It's easy to fix others, and not ourselves, so SHOW your spouse, don't TELL them
Me& h + S M: 13 t: 14
H moved 2/12. Own apt 05/12, EAs, PAs, gfriends, oh my! I'm done. 12/12
"I get knocked down, but I get up again.. you're never gonna keep me down" Chumbawumba
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
