Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers My story started March

Last week when I hired a db coach, she asked me to read 5 love languages. I noticed something. I had always noticed my wife kept cards that I got for her near her make up station. So when I got her a gift I also bought a blank card and wrote just a simple, 'I thought this would be nice for you" In looking back to her receiving the gift. She was holding it very firmly. She was very happy I got her a gift. To her love language, I had missed her, and gave her something personal.

she came by tonight to get D. She had a strict no touch rule. She stayed 20 minutes. It was so hard.

Here's what I have learned so far... often this is how it will appear. But our WAS's are human too. So that means they have fears, worries, and second-thoughts. What she lets you see is her having a great time, because what else is she going to show you?

BUT... and this is a big BUT... you have to live your life and do whatever is you want (other than pursue and chase that is). Because she will check back, often at times, to make sure you're still there. Knowing that you are she can continue.

And the "friends" thing will make this all that much harder. I'm not saying don't do it, just be ready for it to be hard. I have pursued the same angle. I don't know if my WAW is my friend right now or not, though we treat each other in a friendly way. But we have kids in the mix. We have stepkids in the mix and so I can maintain a connection with them I try to keep things friendly b/w W and I. But it makes the clean break and LRT hard. Harder than if you have every reason to act like they don't exist except when there is a need to communicate. Be ready for this.

thanks hard working guy.


well db'ers
I think she is softening.
Tomorrow is lunch.
Today she said You text all the time before you hated to text, I said that was the angry jerk. now I like it. She was very pleased. Still unsure but happy./

lunch was fine until we talked about money...

She is taking great pride in hurting me.
An angry hurt woman is nothing to take lightly.

well it hit the fan today. I had meeting with attorney and well...

How are you?

Really not good. dmond
I guess I had hopes of being friends. not going to happen for a while. We have a business and do very well. The divorce is eating her up. She is totally engulfed with me taking advantage of her. Which is very strange. She left she hired attorney, she filed. All I have said for quite some time I want to be friends.

I believe it's time to really just back away. from her. LRT I guess. I cannot keep going on this roller coaster of emotion with her. One minute she is nice, the next I never did anything right. She is taking great pride in hurting me. I wish the best for her. She has got to be in some serious pain.

She has completely changed from the person I knew. She stays constantly busy, I'm sure to not think about things. She has a new set of friends, out doing things often. Which is great.

Women are just better at the seperation thing I guess. I am still so emotional. I was always a tough guy and I am so sensitive lately. Been 2 months and am sick of the emotional stress. I have weeks where I do well, then back to lousy.

I really need to get my swagger back, I need to just her go. Some days she is nice and sweet and then says terrible hurtful things.
The hardest part is I care. I care she feels bad but she has to go through this and there is absolutely zero I can do to prevent.

By me saying lets be friends, or I care. Is now not helping. May be pushing further away.

Goal number 1 for me right now.

If I told you I have heard this story before.

It is is script and yes LRT is the only thing you can do.

Things will start to get better but they may have to get worse first.

Just chiming in to say I was a girl that kept really busy. I kept really really busy until I had a weekend where I cried non stopping sobbing on the bathroom floor. My H acted as if none of this touched him, he wasn't GAL but he was friendly supportive wanting to be friends and I felt like he never cared obviously this isn't even affecting him. He told me later he cried himself to sleep, cried at tv shows, songs on the radio, he was despondent.

All I'm saying is we don't show our pain to who we perceive to be the source of it. I'm sure she's hurting too. If she's angry it may be a way to rationalise her decision to herself. I told him I never liked my engagement ring, always resented that I didn't get a proposal all sorts of things. Anything to support my decision, validate it to myself.

Take care of yourself.