@Labug - you are right. It really does.. I just need to be patient with myself which is actually harder than being patient with her.. lol.
@NG - Thank you. For the most part - I enjoy the loving, compassionate road. It's always been a part of me, just be buried under the fear.
When I look back at the last 20 months I have very few regrets. Some times when I'm upset - I always say "well I don't do this or that to hurt w, like she does me". The truth is - It's not like I'm ever really fighting a desire to do those things.
In some ways - I think God really opened up my heart to how to love people. How to learn to accept people for where they are in the journey, Learn to forgive. Learn to let go.
@JS - I do think I should treat her as a stranger. Nothing more. I know it will hurt, but I also think that I'm strong enough to do w/o the expectation it will lead us back together.
Journal -
I went ahead and sent the email to w - asking her to take me off her medical insurance, but to leave me on her dental as per our last discussion.
I also thanked her for her txt and said I appreciated the updated info.
I thought about it awhile and Yes.. I would thank a stranger, but I still kept my boundary of not replying to her txt with a txt. To me, that is something only friends do.
Finding new insurance is definitely a leap of faith. But sometimes the leap is necessary because better things are on the other side.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
