Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Wife of 7-Years is Divorcing Me, but Yet Not pt. 8

agreed Scared.

Alamo - Do you believe you should receive respect? IMO - it's not about teaching HER.. it's about you believing in your OWN self worth.

Depends on the situation.

I remember when my W was blaming something on me again and stated she can't wait to leave, etc. (this is when we were on our way driving somewhere). I had hit my limit and thought to myself "I don't have to keep taking this."

I pulled off the side of the road and told her that enough was enough. That I would not be treated that way any longer and that I had already apologized for things that happened in our M while she hasn't and will not be a scapegoat any longer. Then I told her that I would leave her @$$ on the side of the road right then and there if she continued talking to me that way.

She immediately changed. She actually treated my nice the whole day and had continued to do so since then. Sometimes telling them in a way that shows that you mean business will do the trick.

But it's not until you give up the fear and can just let go that you will get to that point.

^^^^ gospel!!

I agree Mr. Bond.

I'm sure you also believed that you were worth being treated better right?

That's all I'm saying for Alamo.

I will add you can demand that someone treat you repectfully. And be prepared to take the necessary action if they dont.

Found your new thread Alamo, will catch up

UPDATE
Today my wife told our son to tell me that we should play in the backyard, because driveways are dangerous.

When she came to pick him up, she repeated that and said she could send me an article on its dangers.

As a sidenote, our daycare provider emailed my wife and I this message:

We were eating lunch, J (was) telling us her disneyland adventure and out of nowhere... first time E talked about situation at home

E: you know mom and dad live in their own house
Teacher: how do you feel about that?
E: sad but they love me
Teacher: and E love mommy and daddy?
E: I do
Teacher: How much do you love your mommy and daddy?
Lucky me, I got a long tight hug

I'm feeling like replying all with this "That's sweet and :("

it's sad when the kids are stuck in the middle like that.

Your W really can't stop complaining about how bad a parent you are can she? It's almost borderline harassment. Don't be surprised if she puts the fact that you let your son play in the driveway in her list of things that show you are an unfit parent.

I would consult your L to see what would happen.

UPDATE
I thought 'screw it' and REPLIED ALL and sent the response.

On another note, y'all probably already know that I rather suck at this 'commanding respect' or boundary-making skill. For example, yesterday, my wife gave me one paperbags full of our son's old baby toys, maternity items, etc, and another bag full of infant diapers. To the latter, she stated, "Maybe you can donate that to the church. I'm sure someone could use it."

Don't mind doing that, of course, but the more I thought about it this morning, the more I realize I should've said something like, "Since you came to my garage and took these things, saying they were yours, I don't think it'd be too hard for you to find someone or some place to donate these to yourself."

As I said, I'm no come-back king.

UPDATE
Received a call from my paralegal with news about my wife's partially-executed stipulation and order (i.e. the legal document following the little private conversation my wife and I had about two weeks ago).

In short, I don't agree with a lot of the items that her lawyer wrote up, so my gut is still saying (like it has been for awhile): wait till the court hearing on 6/4 itself.

Mr. Bond, you were right on the money about her adding the playing on the driveway issue to that order. I knew that was coming too, but while the point is valid, the way and reason it's presented is stretching it. Here's the excerpt from her lawyer:

"On a final note, Wife has expressed to me her concern regarding E playing in a driveway. The provision regarding E not playing in a driveway is not intended to reflect on either parents' parenting skills; but rather, is based on statistics and professional experience by Wife regarding such accidents. Many times, even the most diligent parents are no match for the energetic, quick-footed and curious nature of children. An accident is just that--unplanned, expected or foreseeable. Wife and I hope that Alamo sees the wisdom and practicality of such a provision in the S&O."

There's so many ways to look at this, but it's almost a waste of my time. Statistically, falls are the the leading non-fatal (but seriously injuring) accidents to children in the US, while in-car accidents is the leading fatal accident for children. Perhaps maybe my wife should order me to stop driving, because (a) my car's crash test rating for rear passengers is not the best, or (b) that in-car accidents statistically is more dangerous than playing on a driveway or riding a bike.

Statistically, my wife has been in more accidents. I have been in none. Maybe I should counter with that.

Okay, okay, I'm ranting. I have a meeting with my lawyer on Friday, so hopefully we can "strategize" something.