Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers How long is this ultramarathon anyway?

The fitness discussion on my old thread sent it right over the top of 100 posts, so I'm starting a new thread.

Here's my old threads:
Continuous Confusion
Trying to love my WAW from a distance
Trying to love my WAW from a distance II
Trying to love my WAW from a distance III
It's a marathon, but where are the mile markers?
Still in the marathon - am I going the right way?
Marathon continues. It is me or is it all uphill?
Where is this marathon leading me anyway?
Still in the marathon - did I miss a turn?
Marathon continues. Where we going, anyway?
Why did I sign up for this marathon, again?
Why was there no course map for this marathon?
Is this really an ultramarathon?
Who designed this ultramarathon course?
Ultramarathon continues...was there a detour?
Ultramarathon continues..will I get a second wind?
This ultramarathon has plenty of hills, no?

This has been a long journey thus far. It started off as a sprint, turned into a marathon, and has turned into a full blown ultramarathon. Believe, this has taken every ounce of patience I have. Today just happens to mark exactly 15 months after the bomb.

And it's been quite a journey. Lots of new adventures. Lots of new friends. Lots of GAL'ing. I am much happier with the man I am now versus the one I was before this mess started. I am definitely a ton closer to God because of this trial.

I had been in limbo in my situation for quite some time, but most recently there have been earthquakes in limbo land. I am still waiting for the fall out. I am looking to God to show me what to do next. He is just telling me to stay the course.

Of course I would like to thank everyone who's been along with me for the ride at various points throughout my situation or during the whole thing. Y'all have been fantastic!

I saw my W for the first time in 9 days tonight when she came to pick up my S. The interaction was pleasant and the conversation was fairly superficial. I'm just giving her all the time she needs to respond to our conversation without forcing the issue or applying any pressure. I just think she'll bring it up when she's ready or she'll bring up the D again when she's ready. I'm trying to prepare for either scenario. My focus has been on GAL'ing though. Frankly, I've gotten really behind on the mundane household stuff - it's been a busy week.

I found out about a couple from my church who is recently separated today because the woman has joined my Tuesday night group. I've been conversing with her some today - the situation sounds all too familiar. Hated hearing about it because I know both of them.

Also at Men's group tonight, a new guy started coming and he's recently separated. Geez, it's like God's putting all these people in my path or something. Well, at least I've lived pieces of what they're going through.

It seems like a good night for a 3 mile run around Midnight.

Not too much to update since the last time, but we all know it can change in a heartbeat for worse or better, don't we?

I didn't see my W last Friday night at all. I took myself to dinner at the health food restaurant - Five Guys Burgers and Fries. My S got out of school early and my W volunteered to pick him up. My S called me later on because he was missing me.

Saturday morning I went for a breakfast ride with a local cycling club. We went 42 miles. I almost got mixed in with the wrong crowd - they were going 61 miles. Yikes!

Cut the grass and did some yard work to say loose. Also had to make a dessert for my small group meeting on Saturday evening. Made some turtle brownies - held one back for my W for Mother's Day.

Sunday was church in the morning. As usual, there were plenty of friends to see. Took my Mom out to lunch after church. I did text my W a "Happy Mother's Day to the Mom of my amazing S". She replied back with a thank you and that our S was very amazing. Saw my W later on in the evening as she was dropping off my S. The exchange was as they've been for the last 3 weeks now. Pleasant, and very surface level.

Last night was a softball. Had a great time. Not that I'm a top performer. I'm one of the old guys on the team.

Tonight I was not home when my W picked up my S. However I did pass them on the street when I was coming home. Stopped and chatted for a few minutes. Again very pleasant and surface level.

Had my church group tonight, aka Ladies' group. A good group meeting. Stayed after encouraging one lady that's recently separated. I know her husband, too. I hate seeing him like this, but he's acting like the quintessential WAS.

Love the health food restaurant reference.

Your GALing is so motivating to me. I'll keep on checking in on you

gotta watch out for those bad-arse long distance bikers, jb...

Does your W bring up the two of you any more, or was that a one time offer?

I am so sorry for what you are going through. I wish I could give you some advise but I cannot. I cam although give you my support. It is hard, the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I wish you the best of luck.

Thanks LIO! I hope my GAL'ing can continue to motivate you. For me, it's been one of the best things I've ever done, regardless of my situation!

KD, she only brought that up during the conversation. She has not brought up the D or anything related to the M since our convo a little over 3 weeks ago now. All of our dialogue has been very surface level. That could all change in a matter of minutes of course, as you and I both well know. Right now, I'm not pressing her either. I figure she bring something up when she's ready. Or - she will start applying pressure to D again.

Thanks, Dawn. I agree with you, it IS one of the hardest things you'll ever go through. I've been going through it for over 15 months now (5 years if I can't when I saw a turning point in the M), so it's definitely turned into an ultramarathon. I always hated hearing this early on because it sounded so much like resignation, but it DOES get better with time. Part of my life is on an all time high, and part of it is total crap. I like to focus on the positive aspects.

Awww ((jb)), I'm with you. Sometimes I think I should surgically excise the crap part. But I guess I just need to do that mentally.

I, too, am at 15 months and the only change is now he will come to the house to pick up one or the other of the sons to do something and actually come in the house and talk with me. We didn't even talk for several months because he only wanted to communicate by email.

Best to you!