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Robb,

I feel ya. I am in the same boat. I fixed things and now there kind of a mess again. However, i look at your post and there seems to be hope in everything your saying. You just need to figure out the right piece of the puzzle to fix your marriage.

Hoping, I just try to see the hope for us. This process is very difficult. The only one you can change is yourself. You just have to quit going down cheeseless tunnels.

But that is much easier said than done!

Rob,

It is true that the only person you can change is yourself.

When you both are committed to reconciling differences you both have to commit to change however.

The worst thing that can happen to a relationship is complacency. Did you allow that to happen?

This happened twice now...so the problems aren't highly likely to be just one-sided.

Is it worth the work?

You tell me, but if it is? That 'work' is constant, it doesn't end until your dead, or you no longer care if you’re married.

If it is worth it? You better figure out pretty dam quick like how you fell down twice and not let it happen again.

PS - Not really convinced that you answered Kaffe with: WE need a better sex life.

I'm needing some support this morning, feeling down and anxious. I'm seeing and hearing what look to be positive signs, but then again maybe they are not. I could use some support if anybody wants to chime in.

Needing some advice on this one.

Wife said a couple of days ago druing one of our conversations:

I know things will get better for 3-4 months, then we will go back to the same thing.

How should I have responded to that? I didn't say anything.

Is she right ???

Emphatically No!

But I don't know how to tell her without sounding like I'm begging. Should I give it more time? Just needing some opinions.

I understand the paradox I think you feel you are in:

On one hand, she COULD be right... because people are people.

On another hand, how can she predict the future?

On yet another hand, how can you express that to her in a way that she won't feel you are just pressuring or attempting to manipulate her...

And yet another hand that you can't SHOW her if she's not open to it...

So, IDK...

what's 3 or 4 more months to SHOW her... without her having to commit to it...?

And how WOULD you SHOW her?

Emphatically Prove it!

Rob all the talk in the world, didn't build the Great Wall of China. Hell all the talk in the world didn't even make your cup of coffee this morning. Words are wind. Actions however?

Show her that your different, even if she might not be in your world.

I feel I definitely would be committed to keeping it going, not just for 3-4 months.

Kaffe, how can I express that to her in a way that she won't feel I am just pressuring or manipulating? Should I bring the subject up again, or just keep working to show it?

Like I said, I haven't brought it back up yet.

How WOULD I SHOW her? I could make a list of ways.....