Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Wife of 7-years is Divorcing Me p7

Yet, she still allows our son to stay with me. That's the ultimate clincher.

Anyway UPDATE #2
She sent me a new text:

"In addition I have proof of the child porn. Did i mention to you its a federal offense to posess such material... no matter how u obtain it. Even if I bought into your lies a judge wont. Its only fair for me to warn u. And thats just the tip of the iceberg."

Well, it would be an offense if I possess it, but I don't or don't see how I could unless she planted it into my new computer.

My wife is going off the deep end.

Yikes. Get your L on the phone stat. Make backups of everything you need to!

That she allows your son to stay with you is actually probably really helpful - if you have emails or texts talking about him staying with you and her being okay with it or anything like that, save them and back them up.

Agreed. Protect yourself right away. Save all those emails from your wife that shows how lousy of a parent she's been.

Your W is getting really desperate.

IANAL, although I was advised that if my W really felt that I was an unsafe parent, then she should not be allowing my kids to stay with me (and vice versa). Your W may be implicating herself by allowing your S to stay with you if she really thought she had some legal case.

I want to continue to stress this, although I really do agree that you should seek legal counsel.

Is there any way that you can communicate with your L that you DO NOT wish them to contact your W's L regarding this. That you are simply providing them with information that your W has stated to you.

If she can't get you to react to her threats (the initial one being that she is taking your S to SC and has already enrolled him there), then she is going even further to get you to react by implicating you as some sex fiend and even a miscreant and child abuser.

I implore you to do what ever you can to not allow feedback to get to her that indicates you are reacting to her attempts to get you to show a "bad side".

let me put it this way, in a DB fashion:

+ when we react in a highly emotional way, it suggests that the accusation stings and may have some truth or validity to it

If an accusation is truly wrong and/or way off centre, then we can easily discount it as incorrect and give it no further thought.

When our spouses are highly defensive about an OP (denying there is one), we do often find that there is (at the very least) some truth and evidence.

If you instructs your L not to contact W's L about this, your L should keep that confidence. I agree that you should be clear that this is solely for informational and strategy purposes and not to be a discussion point between the Ls right now.

I journaled about the child porn issue last year:

My journal entry - Click here

Unless my wife kept a copy of the files from 2005 or contact our therapist back in TX for the interview transcript, I don't see how she can back up what she says. And even if she did, they don't prove I am into child porn or possess them now.

So to add on to what you said Kaffe, what she says does sting a little because of the memory that it brings to me; I just can't help reacting that way. The addiction tore our marriage apart, for crying out loud.

Alamo-

Sorry to hear that your wife is attacking your character. Try not to react to her text's. I don't understand her giving you a head's up on the child porn, I wonder what she is up too?

If I were in your shoe's, I would not answer any of the stupid text's she sends and make sure you are covered legally. Don't let her get away with her BS lies.

Shaky

Discuss with your L any necessary proof that you are "1 year clean" and have received and continue to receive ongoing counselling (as deemed necessary) regarding this.

It sux that stuff comes back to haunt us, even after we have made our penance. Strategize with your L for any necessary defence.

Try to think of this as a positive. She's giving you advanced warning of her possible offensive position. Allowing you to prepare a defence.

Really nice of her, actually.