Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
yes, that will be the key. I asked her yesterday what she's going to do with her first 5:00pm evening. She said "I'm going to take my dinner downstairs, so they can't ask me to do other things, then I'm gonna lie down for a bit and then iron" I asked what she was going to iron "Well, the bedsheets need to be done and the boys school uniforms" We had a talk about how she's going to have to learn to leave things undone! I said "you are your number one priority right now, not bedsheets or school uniforms. The focus here is to re-energize so that you're ready to find work or go to school. You have to stick to your perimeters here" She said I was right and her girlfriend had told her the same thing that afternoon. I told her that I know it's hard for her to leave things undone but sheets do not need to be ironed and the boys can wear the same uniforms for another day, if necessary. So today she texted me a good morning and that today she starts working till 5:00pm. She was going to ask her employer if today was the start date. I said "you just tell her "btw, I'm starting 7-5 today, don't ask" So, I texted "Hooray, first day of freedom. No ironing after hours either, right?" She replied "hehehe...lots of stuff to iron so that won't be starting today!" She just can't stop herself...small steps, small steps lol. But, at least she'll be ironing a few hours earlier in the evening rather than 10:00pm! It's a work in progress.
Btw, yesterday we went to a walking/biking trail that stretches along Lake Ontario. After our walk we sat on a bench and listened to the water. SDA Lady also widened her knowledge of different bird types and got lots of tulip photos. We had a nice dinner at Applebees afterwards and I drove her home to the new 2.5 million dollar fortress she now resides in. She also bought a 12 pack of water which is now stored in the trunk of my car so that "we'll always have water on our dates". First the water, then the condoms...lol.
Poor SDA Lady! A friend of hers called her yesterday and asked her whether she and I were having sex. She said to SDA Lady "You must be enjoying it, you haven't done it in a long time" SDA Lady was not impressed. She told her that she does not discuss these kinds of things with people and that she's not looking for s-e-x, she's looking for a relationship. Last night her employer managed to keep her working till 6:00 pm and has asked her tonight to mind the kids. I told her that she needs to refresh employers memory as to what the agreement is. She's pissed and rightly so!
Wii: Keep in mind that this is SDA's problem - not yours. She is still someone new in your life but she is an adult and can make up her own mind what she will and won't tolerate. It's ok to be a cheerleader once in a while but enough about poor SDA lady.
As for the S-E-X - that's nobody's business but the 2 of you. But I'm kind of surprised she brought it up to you. It's like she is wondering if there is something wrong with the 2 of you not doing it yet. But whatever...
Good point Barb! She did tell me she was upset about it, but she knows she's gonna have to enforce the boundaries, she doesn't need me to tell her! I did say last night that this is a big change for her and for them, so there may be some adjustment time necessary. But, as Mish said, their history is to take advantage so she needs to be vigilant. As far as sex, I was kind of floored, as was she, that her friend would even say that stuff... she's not even a close friend. And we do talk about having sex (in fact, we discussed it two nights ago) but have decided we don't want to rush it, when the time is right it will happen but it's not a priority. So yeah, that's between her and I, none of her friends business.
when the time is right it will happen but it's not a priority
Wii, I'm so glad you and SDA lady found each other, and that this works for you. I gotta admit, though - can't ever remember when sex wasn't a priority! lol
I hear ya, kml lol! In any relationship I've had previously sex was pretty dominant and fast. Voldy and I never did it but we were ripping clothes off left, right and center every week! SDA lady and I touch and are very affectionate and have had one heavy make out session but we don't want sex to overpower the relationship. That's what happened previously I found. Once you start doing it everything else becomes secondary which is not great for a R. So, we are going slow and building our caring and trust first...and then I'm gonna put the wood to her lol.
