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I had these feelings alot in my marriage. My wife did ALOT of assisting with it, but I realized that I contributed to it as well.

Take ownership for part your part of it. It's the only part you can change.

I know that's hard when the person who you want to love and appreciate you doesn't.... but push those feelings aside.

Focus on the people who do appreciate you and love you. Focus on their reasons and let that radiate from you.

Sure - working out, eating healthy, and having a "nice" body definitely helps with "feeling attractive" and having "confidence"....

... but there are PLENTY of skinny people who still feel ugly.

It has to come with within. It has to be a mindset. It has to be something that YOU believe in.

None of ^^^^^ has ANYTHING to do with your H.

thanks I am going to go and look at those posts. I will try anything!!

I am back to feeling better today I know at the end of the day my H is losing out especially with the boys. He is going to miss so much and me I will be there for everything. I just felt so sick when I saw that picture of them together but I know that is why he went to England just wasn't expecting to see pictures. Guess that is what I get for snooping!

I know I am a good person, yes I have faults but deep down I am a good person. One day H will realize what he threw away. Hopefully in the case of the boys it will be sooner rather than later. No matter what if we do D I want him to be a father to them and he just can't do that from 4000 miles away.

So your H moved away to be with OW?

Have you done anything to protect your assets with your sons?

Thanks Val. I do realize that alot of how I felt had to do with me and not H. I do. That is what I feel like I have changed the most on realizing that. I think a lot of that is from my parents, I never felt good enough or that I did things to make them happy. I am trying to break that cycle with my kids. All though sometimes I think I went too far the opposite way! They are convinced the world revolves around them!

I am much happier now I feel better about myself but I still beat myself up about my weight. I need to work on that either do something about it or realize this is my body and deal with it. Gave me 2 wonderful kids can't be that bad.

This board has really been a lifesaver. Yesterday I was so down and it helps so much to come here and have people know how I feel and understand what I am going through and be able to lift you up. I so appreciate it!!

It is nice to know others are going through the same thing. And dont beat yourself up about your weight. Just be the best Paige you can be. Be healthy! That's what is important.

Mr Bond

H moved back home with his parents, just so happens OW lives there also. He has never admitted to OW just that he doesn't love me anymore. We never really settled our finances he just walked away from the house, I haven't decided what I am going to do it is not worth as much as I owe but for right now I am ok. Can't solve all my problems in one day right? I did file but never had him served. I don't know why I just don't feel ready yet. Stupid I know....

The boys and I will be fine without him and at this time am more worried about custody than finances. I know I need to contact the lawyer again to see what I should do but so far my heart just isn't ready.

So he's not giving you any money at all? Not even for his own kids?

He gave me a big sum of money before he left, since he wasn't sure how long it would take him to get a job. If I am careful that plus my salary will last me 4-5 months.

So he quit his job to be where the OW is? That is pretty irresponsible.

Does he even try to contact the kids? Sorry if I missed that.

Yep left his job, said he didn't have anyone here but the kids and he missed his family... He still hasn't admitted to OW. Yes he calls the kids every day. Honestly that is the part that is so crazy to everyone that knows H. No one can believe he has left the kids. He was a good father, until this all happened. I hope he remembers that at some point and comes back to his kids