Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Not sure where to start, Part 2

WH,

I do the same thing randomly, too! We were the 'it' couple, too!!! What is going through our H's heads?!?!?

Now, we are separated and don't even talk! How did this all happen so quickly?!?! Okay, "THOUGHT STOP!!!"

THinking of you!

IKR? H is driving the crazy train to D-town and I can't get off!!! We talk because we have kids but it I just don't get it!!! We used to talk about everything and laugh all the time!!! Now he has recreated our history to where it was never good!!!

I can only be the best me I can be and hope one day he comes out of this fog. But by then it will probably be too late.

I love your attitude. Your dialogue with your h when he was snoring was great. Don't know if it was totally db. I really think the most important thing however is to keep your sense of humor and laugh at how grumpy our spouses are.

They are looking for reasons to justify their behavior so anything like leaving the cap off the toothpaste becomes a major offense.

Have you read the Laura Munson book, "this isn't the season you think it is"? It's a memoir of her experience with her h Mlc. She also said she thought of herself as a golden couple.

The book has a happy ending so definitely check it out if you havent

Ha! Now that you mention it BK, he did once question why we had so many toothbrushes??? I asked him why it was such a big deal?? He just "hmmpted" and walked away.

I know the "pillow talk" wasnt DB, but I could not resist. I laughed at him the other night too because he was so far over on his edge of the bed I swear he was clinging by his toes. I literally laughed out loud! He looked so ridiculous. Seriously dude, if you think you will turn to salt if you touch me, sleep somewhere else!!!

WH,
I'm with you on this too. My H actually admitted that his relationship with OW was his attempt to hurt me in the worse way possible.

Presumably he meant in retaliation for the hurt I had caused him through parts of our marriage - that he hadn't really bothered to tell me about.

How sad is that?

Hey NLW -

I think H is punishing me (even though he insists he cares about me "more than I will ever know") because he went out looking for someone to replace me. Seriously what kind of person registers for dating websites and actually starts dating and not mention to their spouse that there might be a problem??? That's messed up. That is NOT normal behavior. I feel a bit sorry for OW because she is probably being spoon fed lies too. From what I gather from the bits I know she is very young and probably very naive.

I know OW isn't the cause of him wanting a D, just a symptom. So I try not to "empower" her. But it still infuriates me that he is trying to replace me. I am "irreplaceable". I am the woman only a fool would leave. We ALL are!!!

Hey W&H-
I TOTALLY get what you are saying. My soon to be XH is currently living with his latest (censored). Keep in mind he just left for his latest job in Jan--14th to be exact, and told me via text on Feb 8 he wanted out. And NO PAPERS have been filed yet. So today is April 18--and he has been living with her for over a month now......Nice isn't it? I deserve more. Every person on this site deserves more. We all are deserving of love and respect. Just my rant for today.

Hi April -

I read all the sitchs on this board and all I can do is shake my head and wonder WTF!!!!! I have two close friends that are having marital difficulties as well. So sad. So unnecessary!!!! So infuriating!

What gets me mad... Is that everyone has marital issues, if one person is unhappy they have the responsiblity to tell the other person they are unhappy and seek MC together. You dont wake up one day, declare its over and say you are done trying.

Some issues cant be resolved, maybe you and your spouse dont "belong" together but a commitment was made to try to work on issues and that is what WAS avoid.

Dam straight, BK!!! This is exactly what I said to H when he dropped the bomb. He didn't respond.

What H is avoiding is the fact that he is seeing OW. Now like I said above OW is just a symptom, not a cause. But he is still running. We have one bad year where all heck breaks loose and he can't cope. He falters. He runs. He takes the coward's way out. It just makes me soooooo angry!!! It is so hard to not confront him about his shenanigans because he is going to so many lengths to keep me from finding out. But I will take the high road once again.

I can't wait for the next round of classes to start at the rec center. I have so much penned up frustration and anger I need to vent in a healthy way.