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Hi Paige

I know your pain. H just admitted his other woman to me yesterday and he is with her and her kids right now. He can't come to S soccer game because he promised to be there with her.

I am so angry but there is nothing I can do to control H and you can't control your H either. We can only take the high road, love our children and be the women only a fool would leave.

The pain is great but take comfort in knowing you are not alone.

((( )))

Thanks it helps not to be alone. I don't understand how your h and mine can choose another woman's kids over their own? It makes no sense to me.

I am sorry I feel so bad for you and your son that is so not fair to your S. My H hasn't even admitted an OW it is all my fault has nothing to do with anyone else... yeah right...

I feel like I take 2 steps forward and 3 back. I wish I could figure out how to just keep going forward

In the case of my H he is looking for an escape. Something to make him happy. She is needy and H is codependent. He even paid for her car registration which infuriates me. She is playing the poor me single mom card and he is playing the Hero who has been wronged by his hostile wife card. He played the rescuer card with me when we first met but things quickly turned and I discovered that I was the one rescuing him not vice versa.

Reality will set in for both our H's. I just hope there isn't too much damage done before that happens.

When H called tonight I didn't answer the phone just handed it to S7. Just couldn't deal with talking to him and acting like everything was great after seeing him and OW all happy on FB. I don't know why it felt like a punch in the stomach I know that is why he moved, wasnt to be close to his family.

I just don't know if I should be talking to him when he calls or not. Sat we talked for a long time but guess it meant nothing. S5 always tries to give me the phone after he talks to H and H always says I don't need mom. But if I answer he will talk to me. I am sure I am reading too much into it but I really felt good about our talk on Sat was like normal but just set upself up to get hurt again.....

I know the feeling. He got an iPad from work to use on his business trip overseas and wanted me to set up FaceTime on my iPhone so he could talk to the kids when left. Ouch. Hurts.

H still flirts with me and teases me. He wants to be good friends. I don't think I can do that knowing he is with OW.

H can't move in with OW she is hours away and he has to stay in the school district or else he loses 50/50 custody. That is one strike against them already but maybe not if they don't live together it will last longer. Sigh.

I have read your posts & thread and I can see your husband is a fool. You need to believe that he is a fool and that Paige40 Rocks!!

Its hard for him to see that right now cause OW is having sex with him (to put it bluntly).

You need to keep on working on you! Spend money on yourself. New clothes, new hair style etc. Take some classes, train for a race, learn an instrument.

Your H will find out you are doing these things through your kids.

He knows that leaving his kids and moving across the pond is being a terrible dad so he needs to blame you. Dont give him any fuel.

You cant control him but you can make him look like an idiot.

Thanks!! I have been trying to work on me. I am booking a cruise with my sister for June so I am going back on my diet tomorrow and am going to start working out. I know it will make me feel better. I need to figure out a way to get out of the house more but that is hard with the kids.

My sister has offered to take the boys one weekend a month but I feel bad. I know stupid but it is my responsibility not hers. A night would be great not a weekend. My brother came over today for a few hours with his son so I got out and did some errands, much easier without the kids. That was amazing to me my brother isn't really close to me so even he can tell I need a break.

I know the sex thing has him under her spell that was his BIG thing that I didn't want him enough. I didn't feel loved or appreciated and I gained weight so I felt unattractive. I cant really do a 180 on that can I?

Thanks for the support. You know how much it means to have people in your corner.

You do rock Paige. Believe it. Feel it. Even though I am on the emotional roller coaster I know I am good catch and my H is an idiot. He himself told me he could not understand why he felt the way he did.

Your H is a fool. Don't let him make you feel down. I know. Easier said than done.

Hi wh,

Just wanted to say that, given what you have been going through, you might find some solace in reading the following thread. My sitch is similar to yours, and I have found this thread to be a life-saver.

It's in piecing, of all places.

Because, despite the extremity of her partner's mlc, he came back - eventually.

BUT, as she documents in painful detail, there often seemed to be absolutely no hope along the way, although he kept wanting to maintain contact.

Anyway, have a look at AliSuddenly's story (warning, it's a long read with multiple threads):

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2033737&page=1

Oops, sorry Paige,
I was trying to do a cut and paste of a thread link and ended up posting to wh on your thread!

However, I'd also recommend looking at AliSuddenly's posts to you - it has helped me so much get through the sorts of things that your h is throwing at you.

Best, NLW.