Divorcebusting.com Forums Open Forums For Newcomers Ease on down the road....

Update---

Sorry I haven't posted much lately, I really needed to take a break from this place. Reading everyone's heartbreak can get very depressing and too much to handle at times.

I was served my divorce paperwork a little over a week ago.
He had the police serve me, and it went fine. It wasn't exactly a surprise.

I really didn't have any emotion towards it for the majority of the day, but had myself a good cry that night. Since then I've been ok.

Hugs DG... I know that's why I've stayed away for a while too... when you have enough heartbreak in your own heart it's hard to see so much from everyone else. It's also depressing to come back and see so many new stories.

Sorry for the serving... no, it's a not a surprise but still hurts. Then again it's just a legal framework for the current reality. Just as marriage is simply a legal framework for the reality at that time. Both can be done and undone (and done and undone and done and undone:) ).

My W hasn't mentioned filing since she moved out. Yesterday via email she did. I simply handed over the details of the 401k division to her and gave her the three options we had for getting that resolved. Told her she is free to do whatever and I would pay half if there is a cost. So now it is in her hands. It felt good to let go of that last piece of control. But I don't look forward to actually signing the papers.

C'est la vie.

(((DG)))

I'm sorry it has come to this in your m.

I know that you know that you will be okay but it doesn't stop it from hurting like he!!.

The D process is difficult.. and even though it is painful to see all the new faces here on the board, I suggest that you post here.

For myself, It made/makes a ton of difference to come here and just let it all out.

Because even though I had people in my life who went through major break-ups or Ds, I had very few people who went the DB route.... and I knew that I was going to DB my marriage until the very end.

Just a thought and my VHO.

(((( ))))

((((DG)))), Man that bites! I know it's not a surprise, but I also know how much it hurts. Keep your head up and always remember this is on him!! You did your part he chose this path, you WILL NOT ONLY SURVIVE BUT PROSPER!!!
Keep posting we need you as much as you needed us.

I know that I will be ok. I think the worst has already happened so there really isn't anywhere else to go but up.

The people and the support here have been invaluable. I never would have made it this far without this forum.

((()))

Man DG I am so sorry. I hate that the process even works that way. It's like rubbing salt in your wounds.

HOWEVER, as far as you've come through all this, this may be the best thing that ever happened to you. You have grown so much, my friend. You are so much wiser, too. You have come so far, and there's no doubt in my mind it's going to get even better and better for you.

DG,
Glad I have been able to get up to snuff with your sitch. Just wanted you to know there are people out there who care about you, you will get through this, you know this intuitively, I am pulling for you!

Journaling---

For the past week or so I've been doing pretty well I think. I did have a moment where I was feeling very sad and cried, but afterwards felt a lot better. I think I have accepted that this is how it is going to be, for now anyway. We haven't had any contact, which in all honesty is healthier for me. Talking to him seems to stir up all sorts of emotions inside of me that can be hard to deal with at times.
His things are still in my garage, and I am still planning on getting rid of them come April 1st if they are still here.

S16 got his permit today and is very excited.

I got out of work early to bring him to the DMV so he could get it, and then we went for a drive.
It's so weird, when H & I got together S was 10 years old and I thought for sure H would be the one teaching him to drive.
Instead, it's me and I am going to try my hardest to not act like my mother and freak out about everything. Something that is easier said than done.

I drove by H's work on my way to pick up S16, just seeing his car makes me sad sometimes.

Hooray to S16 getting a permit!!

Enjoy the experience of teaching your son how to drive.

My first car was a standard. I had two wks to learn how to drive it before my senior year started...

...my mom took me out every day. She swears up and down STILL that she does NOT know how to drive a standard (even though she taught ME & BOTH of my sisters).

I still remember her peeling out of the stop signs to avoid stalling on the hills....

... and every time we talk about to this day.. she laughs and I can see her eyes brighten.

I know you teaching him how to drive is not how you pictured it - but look as it as another opportunity to build great memories with your son.

P.S I became a great driver. Could shift, drink a coke, and dip my McNuggets in BBQ Sauce...at the same time.